|Release date||6 June 2005 (Update)|
|Also known as||Dissy|
|Quest NPC|| Swan Song, |
Garden of Tranquility,
Defender of Varrock,
Recipe for Disaster
|Sells items||Quest point cape|
|Examine|| Before the Draynor Bank Robbery: A venerable sage. |
After: A venerable and rich sage.
Snow Gnomecopters: A venerable and rich sage on holiday.
During Sea Troll Queen fight: He's unconscious!
|Notable features|| Legendary Saradominist warrior (now retired), sage, bank robber|
Dionysius, also known as the Wise Old Man and often nicknamed Dissy by people such as Zenevivia, Xenia and Elsie, is a legendary and very powerful magician of Saradomin and former adventurer, currently residing in Draynor Village. Dionysius, under his judicious alias, is infamous for both the Draynor Bank Robbery as well as the Wizards' Tower Robbery, the latter of which he carried out with his girlfriend Zenevivia.
Although he currently claims to be a retired adventurer, Dionysius used to be a famous hero in his youth, saving countless lives and fighting back the dark forces of Gielinor. A summary of some of his travels, feats and other several significant events in his life are detailed in Herman's book.
He is amongst the most commonly re-occurring characters in RuneScape, playing pivotal roles in several quests. He is also a community hit, frequently recurring in the Postbag from the Hedge with an exclusive, special section at the end of each Postbag known as Wise old tips.
The Quest point Cape is available from him, for a fee, to players who have completed all the quests. He is one of only three characters who do not wear the Cape of Accomplishment that they sell (the others being Orla Fairweather, who is unable to do so, and Thok, who merely guards it).
Dionysius was born in the busy city of Varrock, where he was educated and where he gained fervour in Saradomin's path. During his time there, he performed numerous deeds that were considered bold and inspirational by the youth of the time; according to Elsie, one of his more memorable actions was painting "Saradomin Pwns" on the Zamorakian Temple in the southern part of the town.
After turning 15, the age at which his peers would look to get employed, he turned down a prestigious offer to study amongst the priests of Entrana, and decided to travel instead. So he set out, voyaging across far-off lands and civilisations in Gielinor, assisting the inhabitants in their endeavours.
Most of his adventures have not been told in great detail, although one of the first regions he visited was the mines in and around Keldagrim, where some of the elder dwarves still remember his aid in their war against a rogue tribe of trolls that threatened to destroy the city. Today, the trolls still wander near the entrance of Keldagrim but are unable to enter the city.
Shortly after leaving the dwarves, he journeyed into the eastern mountains, where a now-disbanded mountain tribe spoke of an "invincible warrior who wielded a powerful staff", aiding them in repelling some creatures from their camp.
Moving on from the mountain tribes, the Wise Old Man took a trip to Karamja, where he taught the natives the use of certain herbs that would aid them in combat. He also ventured into Brimhaven Dungeon, which few people at the time dared to enter and even advised the locals to charge any adventurer who wished to enter the dungeon, leading Saniboch to charge a fee of 875 coins to every venturing adventurer.
According to Xenia, along with herself and Radimus Erkle, the Grand Vizier of the Legends' Guild, Dionysius had once adventured to Karamja together in the hopes of mapping the Kharazi Jungle. They managed to make the first partial map of the area, but then the Jogre Wars began and they weren't allowed to complete it.
Next, he then travelled into the Kharidian Desert, where he lived amongst the Bedabin for some time. He toured across many of the desert cities, including the deep-seated Menaphos and Sophanem. He is also said to have studied the mysterious pyramid to the south of the Bandit Camp, although not speaking of what he discovered in the pyramid, which troubles him to this day. The Wise Old Man is known to have fought the Kalphite Queen during that time. In one desert adventure, he even rescued Larry from an avalanche.
At some point before he retired, the Wise Old Man was also trained by Lozar, one of the wizards who had escaped Elvarg's destruction of the Crandor city and secretly hidden one of the pieces to the crandor map with herself.
Having had seen the world during these uncounted adventures, Dionysius travelled back to Entrana to complete his studies. Even on Entrana he found excitement, when he ventured into the demon-infested dungeon beneath it; at one point, he was offered admittance to the Temple Knights. He is also the author of "Magicks Most Destructive", of which very few copies survive today, and only fragments of it remain in the Temple Knight library. There is a copy in the chemist's house in Rimmington, but it is currently unreadable.
A few years and many more adventures later, he finally decided to retire and settle down in Draynor Village across from the bank.
Dionysius tells the player that he and Ellamaria 'go way back', long before she was married to 'that fool', the King of Varrock, and suggests that you 'do the fastest run you can off the nearest pier you can find' when he discovers you are in her service.
The Dark SideEdit
After completing his adventures, Dionysius began to feel bitter that he had not been adequately "rewarded" for his deeds, as he was forced to live in relative squalor. He thought that it was within his right, therefore, to reward himself, and uses this as justification for his crimes.
His most notorious act was the robbing of the local bank, killing several people in the process. A player can watch the robbery's recording by speaking to the guard outside the bank - free for the first view, and a fee of 50 coins for every next consecutive watch. One of these unfortunate victims, an NPC named Elfinlocks, dropped a blue partyhat, which the Wise Old Man claimed for himself due to its rarity and visual appeal.
His telescope, which pointed to the bank prior to the robbery, is currently pointing towards the Wizards' Tower; his strange book also notes that he is running short on runes and that the wizards to the south have plenty, yet supply him with none. Dionysius has grown desperate to attain runes even to the point of taking them directly from players who asks him to examine their runestones. In Postbag 12, the Wise Old Man confirms, after defending his morally dubious recent actions, that he is indeed planning an assault there, despite his denials to players, and that the reason for doing so is that he is "short of runes these days" and that an excursion to the Tower could "solve my problem permanently." Yet, despite all his power and skill, he also admits to being reluctant to launch the attack, for "the powers of Wizard Traiborn are not to be underestimated" and his plans are "not yet finalised." Further evidence pointing to his planned attack lies in his own words of, "All good things come to those who wait, currently I'm interested in...local...concerns." when a suggestion and plan for him to assault and scour the Elven city of Prifddinas was sent to him.
|“||In the distant past, when I travelled the world solving people's problems and saving those in distress just as you do today, I held the hope that my efforts would be appreciated and met with appropriate gratitude. But what did I get? When I grew old and the time came for me to retire, I found myself forced into this poxy shack in Draynor Village, neighboured by a pigment-obsessed hag and a 'navigator' whose prowess at knitting exceeds his ability to steer a boat. Not to mention the constant flow of unashamed thieves through the village market! (The hideous harpy who sits gawking through my window will gladly show you a picture of the house as it was when I first came here.) My meek and placid nature notwithstanding, I realised that if I did not take my reward for myself, I would receive nothing at all. So I took up my trusty staff and headed for the bank. I am sure you would be likewise frustrated beyond belief if you were to dedicate a lifetime's effort to the service of others and receive no reward.||”|
— Wise Old Man 
The Temple Knights, realising how dangerous he is, have been monitoring him and have labelled him as an "ultraviolet archangel" threat. The Bank of RuneScape, the guards of Draynor Village, and many of the locals are also watching him closely, though he does not seem to be worried about this. Despite this and obvious proof of his crimes, the authorities of Misthalin have, as of yet, made no attempt to bring him to justice, acknowledging and fearing his prowess.
Dionysius appears none too fond of the organisation known as H.A.M., despite it mainly consisting of Saradominists like himself, calling them "ridiculously attired xenophobes", and his liking of them is even lessened still by his suspicion that the creature under his bed is "a subterranean creature forced out of its natural habitat".
Dionysius, during his early days in Varrock, regularly attended the local Saradominist chapel and started following Saradomin's teachings.
When asked about Zaros, the Menaphite Pantheon, or Armadyl, he denies their existence, though from his frantic responses it appears that he has indeed heard of them and their vast power. Apparently, he is a Saradominist who admittedly only believes in the three major gods: Saradomin, Guthix, and Zamorak.
Despite his bitterness, Dionysius in old age still does enjoy the occasional trip to foreign lands.
Of his most recent trips, he has visited areas such as the Trollweiss Mountain - seen sledding during the now discontinued Gnomecopter Tours - and Oo'glog, to enjoy the new spa facilities and local hospitality.
Dionysius appears to take much joy in drinking. He has also stated in Postbag 28 that he would like to get into Prifddinas.
Knowledge and skillsEdit
During his adventures, the Wise Old Man gained a deep understanding of the world, learning of its histories and nature. What he learned, though, he often will not share openly, and he seems to possess historical knowledge that, in the wrong hands, could be deadly.
An example of this is his comprehension of teleportation, and being aware of the Abyss and its role in the teleportation process. He is capable of teleporting to virtually any destination rather than using the simple channels utilised by most teleporters, which suggests that he might be able to resist the effects of teleblocking, as Mr. Mordaut mentions that besides the locations players can teleport to, all other locations are teleblocked.
Dionysius has also displayed a fluent understanding of multiple languages, ranging from tribal Karamjan to the ancient dwarvish tongue[ ]. Though he most often speaks simple English, he often mixes Latin into his speech, such as Vini; volui; mihi est (I came; I wanted; it's mine), which is a reference to the famous Roman phrase Veni, Vidi, Vici (I came, I saw, I conquered).
The Wise Old Man's most distinguished talent is his mastery over magic, which he has honed over the years, learning from countless sources. His most deadly offensive ability, though, is a spell of unknown nature that when used, instantly incinerates the flesh, muscle, and organs of the victim. This spell, apart from being extremely lethal, is also capable of destroying brick walls and virtually any other obstacle in its way. However, he refrains from using the spell on any occasion. This was explained due to a lack of skill in his earlier years, and a lack of runes after the bank robbery.
Although he has a plethora of magical weapons at his disposal, the Wise Old Man has openly displayed very few of them. He has shown his abilities extend beyond simple combat, capable of using telekinetic grab and other basic spells with ease. He has also delved deep into the art of mental magic, and can push those attempting to scry into his mind away while simultaneously dealing a powerful counter-attack.
As an example, when the NPC Contact spell is set to "Random NPC", it may sometimes yield a conversation with the Wise Old Man. When contacted, though, he will force them out of his mind, stating "Keep your foreign Magicks out of my head!" His calling of the Lunar spell thus may imply that he himself has garnered minimal knowledge of the mystic lore in the Lunar spellbook. The Wise Old Man, upon breaking the Lunar spell, will then direct a Fire Wave from afar at the player, whose location he can apparently pinpoint, across vast distances and even into other dimensions. He also denies the very existence of Zaros's Ancient Magicks, calling the adventurer a "foul trickster" and their words "foolishness" should one mention them to him; however, Zenevivia, one whom Dionysius knew well in his earlier days, uses spells from the Ancient Magicks. He has also displayed a knack for alchemy and other strange divisions of magic, as is evident in his cryptic writings.
Being adept in teleportation and its process, he implements teleportation liberally in combat, dazing his opponents by teleporting all around them and launching attacks from all sides, further proving his abilities, because Mr. Mordaut claims that teleporting a short distance away is harder than teleporting long distances.
Even at his old age, Dionysius is extremely adept at hand-to-hand combat, easily capable of defeating the strongest of foes. His skill in using basic weaponry is unrivaled, and he has proven himself able to defeat even armed foes using only a staff. He also apparently possesses a lethal kick, which has been shown capable of shattering even the shell of the Kalphite Queen. According to Dionysius, he is even now capable of wrestling crocodiles on the banks of the River Elid.
In members' worlds, the player is able to do favours for the Wise Old Man, such as getting him swords or bars, or delivering notes, for which he hands out moderate rewards. Most of the time the reward is a blessing, which increases the player's Prayer experience, or a small amount of runes, seeds, herbs or coins. One of these tasks required the player to fight a monster under his bed, for which he will reward the player with some Constitution experience.
The Wise Old Man will search a player's bank for unneeded quest items. He can also examine any item you give him to of the cheaper runes, he will say they are useful and instantly take a few of them. He has a few unique books on his bookshelf which the player can read. One, the Book on chickens, is about the legend of the Evil Chicken, and the strange book mentioned already. However, if you use any of his books on him, he will take them back from you. He also has numerous tinderboxes in his house. His house also includes a model aeroplane and very rare, gold-trimmed Saradomin armour, which, according to his strange Book, he had trimmed with some of his stolen money.
Along with this, among the possible jobs the Wise Old Man will assign a player, one of them includes delivering a letter to one of the following:
- Oracle, on Ice Mountain.
- Reldo, Librarian of Varrock.
- Abbot Langley of the Monastery.
- High Priest of Entrana.
- Thurgo south of Port Sarim.
This indicates that the Wise Old Man knows these famous figures through out Gielinor, and that they, to some extent, know him. He corresponds with them somewhat frequently.
During the Swan Song quest, the player visits the Piscatoris Fishing Colony and meets Herman Caranos, the colony's director, who says that they are run over by sea trolls, and insists that he needs the services of the Wise Old Man to protect the colony. When you agree, a cutscene plays showing Dionysius' encounters - the Kalphite Queen, drunken dwarf, etc.
You travel to Draynor Village, in the hopes of bringing the Wise Old Man back to Piscatoris. Although agreeing to help Herman out, he asks you for some runes before leaving.
Back to the colony, as you try to enter the colony grounds you are encountered by some sea trolls. Along with the help of the Wise Old Man's magical abilities, you dispatch them off easily. You both head to Herman, who instructs you to talk to the community members and assist them in rebuilding the defenses and replenishing their food stocks.
After doing so, you return to Herman planning to build up an army to finish the trolls once and for all. The Wise Old Man suggests speaking to Wizard Frumscone in the Magic guild and request to borrow some of his 'magic zombies'. Although Frumscone flatly refuses to part with the zombies, you somehow manage to convince Malignus Mortifer to give you some bone seeds that summon skeleton mages.
Returning to the colony, you hand over the portable army to Herman. Just as suddenly, a wave of trolls rise up from the sea and are met by the skeleton mages. A battle ensues, where the Wise Old Man one-hit kills the Sea Troll General, only to be hit by a powerful attack from the Sea Troll Queen, although he sees no red. Pretending to be injured, he abandons the battlefield, leaving you to deal with the Queen.
When you kill the Queen and her minions once and for all, the Wise Old Man is pleased and offers you a reward; humorously, you ask for his blue partyhat, which he completely ignores, and you bang your head on Herman's desk in frustration.
During the quest Love Story, The Wise Old Man's old girlfriend, Zenevivia returns to challenge him to battle, seeking to reclaim her honour, after The Wise Old Man defeated her years ago. Players learn of The Wise Old Man's romantic involvement with Zenevivia all those years ago, and together, you and the Wise Old Man battle Zenevivia in The Wise Old Man's 'NPC-Owned House'. After defeating her, Zenevivia and the Wise Old Man stage the Wizards' Tower Robbery, and they reignite their love. The Wise Old Man will also give Zenevivia his Blue partyhat to her.
The Wise Old Man also has small roles in other quests.
In Garden of Tranquility, after a little quiz, the Wise Old Man helps the player by activating the Ring of Charos so it can be used to "charm" people, particularly useful for convincing Farmers to give the player certain seeds.
The Wise Old Man has a small role in the Freeing Sir Amik Varze subquest of Recipe for Disaster, providing the player with a Book on Chickens, which helps the player find the Evil Chicken's Lair.
The Wise Old Man has a small cameo at the end of As a First Resort, where he can be seen enjoying the grand opening of the Oo'glog Spa.
Draynor Bank RobberyEdit
The Draynor Bank Robbery was a bank break-in in which the Wise Old Man killed several NPCs, stole from the bank chests, and obtained a blue partyhat by killing a player spoof. Below is a gallery of images documenting the bank robbery in order from first to last in the scene.
|This article on an NPC has an associated dialogue page.|
Click here for a transcript of possible conversations with this NPC.
- His name is possibly a reference to Dionysus, the Greek god of wine, or it may refer to Dionysius, a tyrant from the Greek ancient world.
- His nickname "Dissy" may be a reference to Odysseus, a famous Greek adventurer and logician.
- The poster of the Wise Old Man in the 28th issue of the Postbag from the Hedge is a reference to the British war posters of Lord Kitchener in the First World War.
- The Wise Old Man briefly appeared at the Clan Wars minigame (on 29 September 2008). He took it upon himself to warn players that gravestones had been removed from the Dangerous Clan Wars portal, meaning they will lose items upon death.
- The Wise Old Man seems to be very afraid of Revenants, as when talking to him about the Wilderness he has a scared chathead when he mentions them.
- He makes an appearance in the "Vote NO, RuneScape Free Trade & the Wilderness" and "Vote YES, RuneScape Free Trade & the Wilderness" YouTube videos.
- The Cryptic Clue Fest IV Day 4 Clue jokingly claims that Dionysius is really a 24 year old man using magic to appear old, and that his favourite item is a cowhide, due to being nostalgic for the "good old days".
- Dionysius, according to the ever-watchful Miss Schism, once possessed "a scruffy old black thing", but after killing Elfinlocks, obtained a blue partyhat.
- The gold trimmed Saradomin armour he paid to trim is a reference is the popular scam in which players would pay money to have their armour trimmed.
- For a short period of time after the graphic update at the wizards tower, looking through the telescope on the second story of the Wise Old Man's house froze your computer and logged you out. This glitch was soon fixed and adapted to fit the new wizard tower.
- After completing The Chosen Commander, Zanik will occasionally appear in the Wise Old Man's house to ask him about his adventure.
- On about 27 March 2007, there was a glitch at the Catherby grappling tree that resulted in some players getting stuck in the water between the island and the mainland. Mod Ash put a copy of the Wise Old Man on the Catherby shore that would teleport the stranded players out of the water.
- In Zemouregal's castle in New Varrock, there is a stuffed Wise Old Man, with the examine text "Turns out that is swan song involved lots of cotton wool and taxidermy needles." This is further supported by the fact Zemouregal states that he killed the Wise Old Man by exploding his insides.