Ok, I think it's past mid-day for most our players now, so I'd better come clean. This post was of course (as most of you guessed) a joke for April 1st. I hope you enjoyed it. The real behind the scenes for April will be posted first thing tomorrow on Monday 2nd April.
Original joke post below:
With Easter comes spring. Spring brings us new plants, so we asked ourselves, "What's everyone's favourite plant?" Of course, the answer is obviously the cabbage.
So this year's Easter update will be Cabbagey Easter, featuring cabbages for everyone! And if that doesn't whet your appetite enough, these aren't just ordinary cabbages. Easter is traditionally about foods (such as eggs) being strange colours, so we've come up with what we think is a completely unique idea: red cabbage!
Fred the farmer has a severe problem. His cabbages are not growing as big as he'd like! In the first quest of the month, Cabbage Ritual, you'll get the chance to explore some of the most exciting and dangerous places in RuneScape, from the bustling city of Rimmington to the shadowy remote town of Lumbridge, searching for pieces for a fantastic new weapon: the hallowed cabbage-grow-a-bit-bigger laser!
After the quest you'll even be able to use the laser on your own cabbage patches, so that your cabbages grow into big cabbages which will heal 2 hitpoints! (If you do the maths you'll find that's twice as many hitpoints as an ordinary cabbage heals.)
Deep under the Melzar's Maze vegetable patch, darkness lies. Actually it's always been a bit dark under there, what with it being underground and never getting any sun, but now there's a new, more dangerous, metaphorical sort of darkness. The secret tunnels which run under the patch have been invaded by a new deadly enemy: killer cabbages!
Get your spades ready, for this dungeon update will feature one and a half levels of increasingly dangerous enemies. First you'll meet the level 2 cabbage spawn, but soon the challenges will ramp up as you confront the level 5 cabbage knights. Finally, at the end of the dungeon, prepare to face our new high-level boss monster, the deadly level 11 Brassica Prime, king of the cabbages!
Of course, we'll be adding some special new item drops for anyone with the strength and stamina to defeat these terrifying new monsters. So watch out for the cabbage armour! With legs, helmet and body to collect, you can make yourself look a complete cabbage!
A couple of notes:
Beware of rabbits. This armour won't protect you from them, since they actually like eating cabbage.
Please note that we felt it necessary to set level 3 Defence and level 5 Cooking requirements for wielding this armour. We suspect the 'no Cooking level' pures may not be happy, but in the interests of good game balance we will definitely not be backing down on this.
The penultimate update of the month will be a new rune, the cabbage rune, which will be sold in the Varrock rune shop. We plan to add this to the Runecrafting skill soon (planned for 2014).
With a new rune, you'll be needing some new spells, so we're releasing four!
Cabbage-speak will cause filtered words you say to become cabbages instead of asterisks (stars).
Locate Cabbage will bring up a yellow flashing arrow on your screen to point you in the direction of the nearest cabbage.
Bones to Cabbages is a daring new spell concept that will turn all the bones in your inventory into cabbages.
We will also be adding the Share Cabbage spell to the Lunar magicks spellbook so you'll be able to give all your friends cabbages too!
In the final update of the month, on April 31st we will turn everyone into a cabbage.