Dialogue for The man who is not Osman

This page contains dialogue related to The man who is not Osman. The content below is copied verbatim from RuneScape and thus copyrighted by Jagex.

• Player: I'd like to talk about Sq'irks
  • Player: Where do I get sq'irks?
    • Osman: There is a sorceress near the south-eastern edge of Al Kharid who grows them. She used to be friends with Osman, but they fell out.
    • Player: What happened?
    • Osman: I don't know. It's impossible to get any information out of Osman. Anyway, now she won't give us any more fruit.
    • Player: So all I have to do is ask her for some fruit for you?
    • Osman: I doubt it will be that easy. She is not renowned for her generosity and is very secretive about her garden's location.
    • Player: Oh come on it, it should be easy enough to find.
    • Osma: Her garden has remained hidden from even Osman - the chief spy of Al Kharid. I believe her garden must be hidden by magical means.
    • Player: This should be an interesting task. How many sq'irks do you want?
    • Osman: I'll reward you for as many as you can get your hands on, but could you please squeeze the fruit into a grass first?
  • Player: Why can't you get the sq'irks yourself?
    • Osman: Osman and the Sorceress had a falling out. Now she won't give any of us spies fruit from her garden.
  • Player: How should I squeeze the fruit?
    • Osman: Use a pestle and mortar to squeeze the sq'irks. Make sure you have an empty glass with you to collect the juice.
  • Player: Is there a reward for getting these sq'irks?
    • Osman: Of course there is. I am a generous man. I'll teach you the art of Thieving for your troubles.
    • Player: How much training will you give?
    • Osman: That depends on the quantity and ripeness of the sq'irks you put into the juice.
    • Player: That sounds fair enough.
  • Player: What's so good about sq'irk juice then?
    • Osman: Ah it's sweet, sweet nectar for a thief or spy, it makes light fingers lighter, fleet feet flightier and comes in four different colours for those who are easily amused.
    • The man who is not Osman starts salivating at the thought of sq'irk juice.
    • Player: It wouldn't have addictive properties, would it?
    • Osman: It only holds power over those with poor self-control, something which I have an abundance of.
    • Player: I see.
• Player: I want to talk to you about Sophanem.
  • Osman: I've no idea what is going on there. It's all on a need-to-know basis, so I'm not going to be asking you for information either.
• Player: Who are you? Osman can't possibly be here!
  • Osman: You can call me Osman, even though I am the man who is not Osman.
  • Player: So...you are one of his agents, but you look just like him?
  • Osman: Of course I look like him, I'm in disguise. What sort of spy would look like a spy?
  • Player: Well, I seem to remember some business with really bad wigs.
  • Osman: Let's change the subject to something Osman might talk about. I don't want to blow my cover.