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Getting the Body and the Evidence[]
Zavistic Rarve: What are you doing... Oh, it's you … sorry … didn't realise. What can I do for you?
Player: I have a rather sandy problem that I'd like to palm off on you.
Zavistic: Thank you so much for helping to bring Clarence home and lock up his murderer! I only wish we could find the rest of him to truly put him to rest.
Player: I think … that I might have found something.
Zavistic: Oh? What's that? You wave the foot in an amusing manner at Zavistic who turns a satisfying shade of pale until you foot the bill and hand it over.
Zavistic: Thank you for helping us, please see if you can find any more of him.
As you are Returning Clarence
You give the left arm to Zavistic.
You pass the right arm to Zavistic.
You present the left leg to Zavistic.
You thrust the right leg at Zavistic who almost doesn't catch it.
You bodily heave the torso out of your pack to the wizard's astonishment.
Zavistic: Than you so much for returning Clarence to us. Despite the lack of his foot we shall go ahead with the burial soon. We must find some more evidence against that scoundrel Sandy first, though. Take a look around his office, would you? See what you can dig up.
Player: you're welcome … but why on earth do we need more evidence? Surely we solved that when he got arrested?
Zavistic: I would agree with you, but the courts want more evidence to have a trial.
Player: Is this the court in Seer's Village?
Zavistic: Yes indeed, we have heard good things of them.
Player: Yes, they appeared to be very fair.
Zavistic: A very fair one … so prove us right … find that evidence! There must be something. We need time to prepare the burial anyway: digging a hole for a coffin is a grave matter. I can teleport you there if you're ready, but only once as I'm very busy.
Player:
- -Yes, I'm ready to go.
- Zavistic: Okay, just click your heels three times and you'll be there.
- Player: Err … what?
- Zavistic: Only joking, there was a girl last week who believed me, but she disappeared before I could teleport her!
- -I'm not ready yet. I'll be back.
(dialogue missing)
Returning with the evidence
Zavistic Rarve: What are you doing... Oh, it's you … sorry … didn't realise. What can I do for you?
Player: I have a rather sandy problem that I'd like to palm off on you.
Zavistic: Do you have anything we can use against that rotten murderer Sandy?
Player: I'm sure I could find a sword somewhere …
Zavistic: No, no. I mean evidence!
Player: As a matter of fact, yes. I have his diary!
Zavistic: How does that help us? Surely you wouldn't record that kind of thing in your diary? 'Dear Diary, today I killed a wonder, talented wizard … ' that would be silly!
Player: Actually, he did! I think he was a few buckets short of a full sandpit.
Zavistic: Well, that the evidence we need then!
You hand over the diary and Zavistic hands you some runes as a reward.
Zavistic: This will definitely put Sandy away. Now that we have this we can bury Clarence. For all your hard work you are invited to the ceremony.
Player:
- -Sure. I'd be honoured to attend. (Goes to funeral)
- -I'll be back in a bit.
Putting the Pun in Funeral[]
Zavistic: Welcome, friends. Today we honour a wizard scholar and send him to study in the hall of the Great Wizards after his work was cut short on Runescape by the greed of a most evil man. Clarence was my apprentice. He had not yet earned his 6th level of magic, hut his intelligence served him well and, in time, he would no doubt have become one of the greatest wizards in Runescape.
Robe Store Owner: * whispers * He was actually a bit of a new boy around here, from the Wizards' Tower at Draynor, hut he was a decent sort and a member of a society within the Guild called the New Order Occult Bookists, a small group who study magic from the old tomes.
Zavistic: So, it is with sadness in our hearts that we bid farewell to Clarence today. May he rest in peace within the grounds of the Guild he loved.
Robe Store Owner: Hear hear!
Professor Imblewyn: Rest in pieces!
Wizard: * whispers * I say, old chap, it's a pity you couldn't find his other foot. Now he has only one foot in the grave.
Player: Umm … Sorry, I couldn't foot the bill.
Zavistic: Thank you for coming to honour Clarence today. And particular thanks to Player, who solved the case and will now be richly rewarded.
You have been awarded 10,000 experience in Magic.
After the Funeral[]
Zavistic Rarve: What are you doing... Oh, it's you … sorry … didn't realise. What can I do for you?
Player: I have a rather sandy problem that I'd like to palm off on you.
Zavistic: It's so good to have Clarence back in mostly one piece.
Player: Back?
Zavistic: Yes indeed, he may not be alive, but he is buried in the grounds of the Wizards' Guild here. So he is back with us. All thanks to you.
Player: Pleased I could lend a hand.
Zavistic: That was an incredibly bad pun. You know that puns are the lowest form of wheat?
Player: Sorry, I don't seem to be able to help myself … I appear to have lost my head.
Zavistic: ARG! Another! Away with you!
Player: But … OK thanks.