Talking to Gertrude Edit
Player: Hello again.
Gertrude: Hello, my dear. How are things?
Gertrude: Oh yes, before I forget I think there are some people you should meet.
Player: Who's that then?
Gertrude: Well there are these two ladies who know a lot about rat catching.
Player: Oh really? Where would I find them?
Gertrude: They generally are to be found in the sewers underneath Varrock, a horrible place, I should know.
Player: I wouldn't have thought you would have much business down in the sewers?
Gertrude: I've had to drag Shilop and Wilough out of there more times than I care for, the little rascals.
Gertrude: I don't know which is harder raising kids or cats.
Player: Thank you Gertrude, I'll be sure to have a look for them.
Gertrude: Well, my dear. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Player: I'm fine, thanks.
Gertrude: Good good, See you again.
Player: Do you have any more kittens?
Varrock Sewers Edit
Grimesquit & Phingspet Edit
Grimesquit: O 'ello what's we gots 'ere?
Despite being in a vile smelling sewer, your nostrils still pick up a sickly sweet vinegarish odour which is wafting from their general direction.
Phingspet: Wot's you want?
Player: Oh hello. I was told by a friend that you know a lot about rat catching, I was wondering if you'd teach me a little.
Grimesquit: We know lots about rat splattering.
Phingspet: Ya we knows. But why should we tells you?
Player: Well I am a great cat owner myself and I'd like to meet other people who are also interested in the same things, and who can perhaps teach me and my cat a trick or two about ratcatching.
Phingspet: D'you 'ear 'em?
Phingpet: Dey tinks fuzzys does trickses.
Grimesquit: Ha! Everyone knowses only dogsies does trickses.
Phingspet: I doesn't tinks dey knows anting 'bout catchin ratsies.
Grimesquit: Set's em a task and we'll sees.
Phingspet: If yous catches 8 rats with y'er fuzzy we'll tells yous.
Player: How will you know that I've completed your task and what's a fuzzy?
Phingspet: Y'er cat stupid and we'll smells 'em.
Player: Um... alright I guess.
Player: ~*Aside* I can't believe I'm going to do this. But what choice do I have?
With that, she picks up your cat and takes a powerful whiff of it before placing it gently back on the ground.
Player: Are you alright cat?
Cat: I'll live.
Phingspet: I's bored wit dis chaterboxing, let's splat some more ratsies.
Player: Er... Ahemm... Excuse me?
The gruesome twosome seem to have lost interest in you, and turn their minute intellects elsewhere.
Upon catching eight rats Edit
Player: Good job puss, we really showed those rats what for.
Cat: What for?
Player: Oh never mind, it's just a turn of phrase.
Cat: Speaking of turning faces, shouldn't we get back to those ugly sisters?
Player: Suppose so.
Who is the fool? Edit
Player: I got de ratsies for you's.
Phingspet: What's up with them?
Grimesquit: Didn't I tell you they were a bit thick?
Phingspet: What a slack jawed mindless creature.
Grimesquit: Yeah, like what's 'I got de ratsies' mean.
Player: Hang on a second. I thought you were thick.
Phingspet: Ha! We were only playing with you.
Grimesquit: That was funny. We should try that again on the next adventurer who comes along. They're so gullible.
Grimesquit: Believe anything you say.
Player: Ok you've had your laugh, now will you please show me something about ratcatching?
Phingspet: There's not much we can teach you here.
Grimesquit: No not much at all, no not much at all.
Player: What? So we've just caught all these rats for nothing?
Phingspet: Here have's a rat pole.
Phingspet hands you a rat pole.
Player: What can I use it for.
Phingspet: You can stick the ratsies your fuzzy catches onto it.
Player: Um... thanks I guess.
Phingspet: Will we tell him about Jimmy and the rat pits?
Grimequit: I doesn' knows. I doesn' know.
Phingspet: You gots all de dead ratsies with you.
Grimesquit: Ha! Ha!
Phingspet: Go on, go on, tell them about Jimmy, go on.
Grimesquit: You should talk to Jimmy Dazzler in Ardougne about the rat pits. He could show your fuzzy a ting o' two.
Phnigspet: Ha! Ha, ha, ...ha .......ha.
Grimesquit: Ha! Ha!
You have the feeling that they'll get no end of fun from that joke, and you begin to question their intellectual capacity once more.
Jimmy Dazzler Edit
Jimmy Dazzler: Ah, [Player], I've been expecting you.
Player: You have?
Jimmy Dazzler: I have. Those repulsive sisters from the Varrock sewers sent word.
Jimmy Dazzler: ~At the thought of Phingspet and Grimesquit he shudders.~
Player: An odd couple. Anyway, they said that you could teach me a thing or two about cats.
Jimmy Dazzler: I could, but I would need a motivation. I didn't get rich enough to afford clothes like these by giving out help freely to every adventurer who came my way.
Player: Maybe I could help you out with something then?
Jimmy Dazzler: Ah, that's music to my ears.
Player: Well, have you anything for me to do, or will that come at a later point?
Jimmy Dazzler: No, no. I've just the ticket right here.
Jimmy Dazzler: ~He gives you a dazzling smile, his pearly whites both pearly and white.~
Player: ~*Aside* Gosh those teeth are very white, and... sharp. Well I know where he gets his name from.~
Jimmy Dazzler: Yes, this is just the ticket. Here...
Jimmy Dazzler: Take a good and long look at this map.
You look at Jimmy Dazzler's map. On it are directions to a country manor located outside Ardougne in an apparently densely wooded area.
Jimmy Dazzler: Now, a wealthy client of mine, a merchant of high repute, is having a soirée.
Player: A what?
Jimmy Dazzler: A party. ~He gives you a look of disdain.~ Now please don't interrupt me any further. He has a problem, a small furry one.
Player: So he wants me to go to his place and kill some rats? I can sort that – no probs.
Jimmy Dazzler: No, no, no. It's not that simple. He can't afford to have you seen on his premises. If a vermin catcher were to be seen in his manor, think of the damage it would do to his reputation.
Player: Oh, I see. So I have to do this covertly?
Jimmy Dazzler: That's it, that's the very ticket.
Jimmy Dazzler: ~Jimmy dazzles you with another one of his trademark smiles.~
Jimmy Dazzler: Now I'm going to cast a spell on you that will allow you to carry out this task with some element of safety.
Player: Are you going to cast an invisible spell on me? That should make it easy.
Jimmy Dazzler: Not quite. ~You receive an uncertain smile. You can see that his confidence in you isn't limitless.~
Jimmy Dazzler: The spell will wipe the last few seconds of memory from anyone who spots you, and also teleport you a small distance away.
Player: Wow. That's some spell. I'd say that comes in handy.
Jimmy Dazzler: ~Jimmy gives you a knowing smile.~
Jimmy Dazzler: It's the ticket, my friend, it's the ticket.
Without another word Jimmy waves his hands about and mutters something under his breath. Uncomfortable now, you search your pockets to check that you're not missing anything.
Player: Where did you learn that spell?
Jimmy Dazzler: If I told everyone all my secrets, would I be as well off as I am now?
You decide not to answer; the question was obviously rhetorical.
Jimmy Dazzler: Well let's get on with things. Carry out this simple task and I'll aid you.
Jimmy Dazzler: Now scram, get going. And remember: the map's your ticket.
Jimmy Dazzler: Oh yes, one more thing. Use a cat to dispose of the rats. Sword-play is really too noisy. Using your cat is...
Player: ...the ticket?
Upon clearing out Ratcatchers Mansion Edit
Player: Good job puss, I think that just about wraps things up here.
Cat: Yeah 'suppose so, this covert rat killing just comes so naturally.
Player: Really? Why's that?
Cat: I'm a cold blooded, claw toting, hitkitty.
Player: A what?
Cat: A callous cat.
Player: I knew you had a dark side.
Cat: I have many darksides.
Player: Well, we had better get out of here and let's do it quietly.
Speaking to Jimmy again Edit
Jimmy Dazzler: Ah, [Player], aren't you just the ticket?
Player: I am?
Jimmy Dazzler: Congratulations on a job well done.
Player: You'll teach me all about cats now?
Jimmy Dazzler: Ahh, now, that's something I didn't say.
Jimmy Dazzler: ~Jimmy flashes you an unconvincing smile.~
Player: You didn't? Well then, what did you promise?
Jimmy Dazzler: Well I can show you into the rat pits of Ardougne; it's a great place for training kittens. Teach them young, you know.
Player: Right. What if I want to know about grown and overgrown cats?
Jimmy Dazzler: Ah now. When it comes to grown cats, Hooknosed Jack is your ticket.
Player: Where would I find him?
Jimmy Dazzler: He should be in the roughest area of Varrock, knowing him. He likes a good scrap does Jack.
Jimmy Dazzler: I'll tell him to look out for you.
Player: Tell me about these pits and where I can find them.
Jimmy Dazzler: One question at a time. The pits lie below this very pub.
Jimmy Dazzler: See that ladder there? Well, that's the ticket.
Player: What goes on in these pits then?
Jimmy Dazzler: Here take this, you might find it useful.
You are handed a manual concerning the ratpits.
Back to Varrock Edit
Hooknosed Jack Edit
Hooknosed Jack: Ah, it's [Player], isn't it? Jimmy D said you'd be along. So what can I do for you?
You can't help but stare at Jack's mangled nose. It's not only huge, but dreadfully crooked.
Player: ~Aside~ I wonder if he can smell around corners with that nose.
Player: Uh, sorry, yeah Jimmy Dazzler told me that you're 'the ticket' if I wanted to learn about grown cats.
Player: You quickly avert your gaze from his face.
Hooknosed Jack: Do you have a problem with my face?
Player: ~With determination not to show any signs of embarrassment, you look Jack in the eyes.~
Player: No. Should I?
Hooknosed Jack: Uh... I guess not. It's just that most... ah, forget it.
Player: So will you help me? Or do I have to do some task for you first to prove that I'm worthy, or in payment?
Hooknosed Jack: Nah. I'm too busy.
Player: What? Oh come on.
Hooknosed Jack: No really, I'm just too busy at the moment. I've got three jobs going at the minute and I just don't have any time for helping the likes of you out.
Player: Look if you need help catching rats I can lend you a hand, I got some good hands on experience from Jimmy Dazzler, Phingspet and Grimesquit.
Hooknosed Jack: Ah you've met the sisters. Lovely girls aren't they?
Player: ~Aside~ What? Does this guy have any taste? Or sense of smell, for that matter?
Player: Uhh... yeah, lovely girls. How about I take some of your workload off you? Then you would have some time to teach me.
Hooknosed Jack: I suppose there is this job I have just south of here. I need to get someone to clear out a warehouse of rats. It should be a simple job of poisoning a few rat holes. Nothing too complicated.
Player: So will any type of poison do?
Hooknosed Jack: No, you need rat poison to kill rats. You can make it yourself. I'm sure I've seen some lying around.
Player: How would I do that?
Hooknosed Jack: Argh! Don't worry your little head about it, you're obviously incapable. Just bring me the base ingredients.
Player: What are these ingredients then?
Hooknosed Jack: Get me some Kwuarm and some red spider eggs. Oh yeah, an empty vial would be good too.
Player: Actually I happen to be carrying all that stuff at the moment.
You hand Jack the ingredients and quick as a flash he hands you back a vial of the rat poison.
Hooknosed Jack: To poison the holes you'll need some bait. Use some cheese for this.
Hooknosed Jack: Pour some of the poison on the cheese and then place some of the poisoned cheese in each of the rat holes.
Player: Ok, can do.
Hooknosed Jack: Report back to me when you're done. I want to get this job wrapped as soon as possible.
Poisoning one hole Edit
Player: Well that's one less rat hole. I had better finish the job off quick before they start to reproduce again.
Poisoning all the holes Edit
Player: Hmm, that should do the trick. Those rats should soon die off.
An unforeseen development Edit
Player: I've completed that task you set me. Now will you teach me?
Hooknosed Jack: Give me a sec.
Player: Oh come on, I've gone and done a job for you, the least you could do is say thanks or something.
Hooknosed Jack: I'm upset at the moment. I just found my cat Pox, and the poor thing's half dead.
Hooknosed Jack: They found Pox at the warehouse you were working at. He must have eaten some of the rats you poisoned.
Player: That's too bad. Good bye
Player: Can I help?
Player: Oh no. I feel somewhat responsible for this. Can I help in any way?
Hooknosed Jack: There is an apothecary here in town; seek his help. Tell him that the poison was made from red spider eggs and kwuarm, and he should know what to do.
Hooknosed Jack: Go quickly!
The Apothecary Edit
Apothecary: I am the Apothecary. I brew potions. Do you need anything specific?
Player: I need to talk to you about cats.
Apothecary: As I said I'm the apothecary not the vet.
Player: Would you know anything about poisons then?
Apothecary: I'm quite the expert, excuse me.
Player: How about rat poisons and anti-poisons for cats.
Apothecary: I think I can help you with that. Try me.
Player: Ok, Hooknosed Jack's cat, Pox ate some rats which were poisoned with a Kwuarm and red spider egg based concoction.
Apothecary: Not Pox, what a personality. I remember... Hang on no, I have no time for dilly dallying.
Apothecary: I know just the thing that will sort Pox out.
Player: Great! What?
Apothecary: Well cats are simple enough to treat. Just bring me a bucket of milk, some Ground Unicorn Horn and a leaf of marrentill.
The apothecary carefully mixes and blends the ingredients together. He then hands you a bottle of cat anti-poison.
Apothecary: Quick, get this to Jack. If I know the man at all, he wouldn't have sent someone else to do this if his cat wasn't seriously ill.
One more task Edit
Hooknosed Jack: Have you got the antipoison?
Player: Yes, I've got it right here.
You hand the vial of cat antipoison to Jack.
Hooknosed Jack: Thank you, [Player], thank you so much!
Player: No worries there, I'd be sorry to see any cat come to harm.
Hooknosed Jack: I have to have a word with you about the job you did in the warehouse.
Player: I did a good job. Didn't I?
Hooknosed Jack: You didn't quite finish that job I set you.
Player: Hang on, I thought that all I had to was poison a few rat holes and that was it?
Hooknosed Jack: Well one rat survived, the biggest and nastiest one of the lot.
Player: Hang on, that wasn't part of the deal, was it?
Hooknosed Jack: I'm afraid it was. You said you'd clear the warehouse of rats, I do remember.
Player: Did you now?
Player: ~You try to convey a sense of skepticism in your voice.~
Hooknosed Jack: I did. Now get to it!
Going after the King rat Edit
The rat inside the room looks very vicious. It could definitely hold its own against any cat.
Your cat squeezes through the broken wall.
Be careful in there, cat!
King rat: Pfssst!
Player: Go get him kitty.
Go get that nasty rat!
Upon defeating the King rat Edit
Going back to Hooknosed Jack Edit
Hooknosed Jack: My sources tell me that you were successful in killing the rat?
Player: They're not wrong. I must admit I was getting a little worried for my own cat's safety too.
Hooknosed Jack: Your own cat?
Player: Yes I had to use it to kill the rat. He was too far out of the way for me to get at it. So I sent in the fuzzy.
Hooknosed Jack: Ha, ha! There's hope for you yet. Perhaps I can show you a thing or two in the pits. See that manhole o'er there? Climb down it to enter the Varrock pits.
Player: That's great! So you know things about grown and overgrown cats then?
Hooknosed Jack: I'm no expert on the larger cats. If you want to train overgrown cats seek out Smokin' Joe in Keldagrim, the Dwarven city.
Smokin' Joe Edit
Player: Hi! What are you doing?
Smokin' Joe: Isn't it obvious? *Wheezes*
Player: No not really.
Smokin' Joe: *Joe splutters a few times, but finally clears his throat.
Smokin' Joe: Bluaaghhaha! Sorry about that.
Smokin' Joe: *Wipes some phlegm from the corner of his mouth.*
Smokin' Joe: I'm trying to smoke these pesky rats out. Bluaaghhaha.
Smokin' Joe: *Joe breaks into another bout of coughing.*
Player: *Aside* Ewww... what a disgusting little dwarf. And whoa look at the size of those ears.
You notice the dwarf's enormous plate like ears, which are constantly twitching as if he's trying to tune them to some unseen and unheard source.
Smokin' Joe: *After two attempts, Joe gets his breath back and eventually manages to speak.*
Smokin' Joe: Anyway I'm trying to get rid of these rats, but my lungs just aren't up for it like they used to be. Bluaaghhaha.
Player: *Aside* Ew!
Player: I could help you.
Player: I could help you. I'm young...ish and have a fairly good set of lungs in me.
Smokin' Joe: That's ...
The dwarf suddenly starts frantically waving his arms about, gesturing that he is unable to catch his breath.
You give him a forceful pat on the back, which dislodges a ... eww! Actually I don't want to look at that. Take it from me it ain't pretty.
Smokin' Joe: Ahhh that's better. Ooohhh boy, *Joe takes a deep breath.*
Player: What's up with your lungs anyway?
Smokin' Joe: Ahh sure wasn't it years of blowing smoke into rat holes that has done this to me? *Wheeze* That and probably the pipe I used to smoke. *Wheeze*
Player: Oh right, anyway where were we?
Smokin' Joe: *Gulp* You offered to help me.
Player: Of course I did. Now you want to get these rats in there. How should I go about doing that?
Smokin' Joe: That's sim... bluaaghhaha... simple. Take this pot light the contents and blow the smoke into the hole.
You look at the pot that the dwarf offers you and notice that it's half covered with fluidy green stuff that Joe has coughed up.
Player: *Aside* No way! No way am I touching that. That is soooo disgusting.
Player: Hey Joe would you mind if I made my own? I might break yours.
Smokin' Joe: *The dwarf looks sceptically at you.*
Player: *Aside* Aghh! How am I going to get out of this one?
Player: You know, you'd probably catch some of my germs. Cross species diseases are incredibly dangerous. I heard of this one village of gnomes who...
Smokin' Joe: You're right. *Wheeze* With my lungs in their current state I just can't take chances.
Player: *Aside* Sweet.
Player: So how do I make my own rat smoking device?
Smokin' Joe: Ahheem, ahh ahh, *Splutters*
Smokin' Joe: Just take a simple pot, stick some garden weeds in it. Light it and then use it on a rat hole.
Player: Great. I'll get to it.
Player: That's too bad. Good luck with that.
After smoking out the rats Edit
The rats quickly scamper back into their hole as soon as the smoke clears.
Player: This isn't working the way I thought it would.
Trying again Edit
Cat: Hey [Player], hey talk to me.
Player: What's that cat? Can't you see I'm adventuring?
Cat: Look I can't let you keep doing this, you're doing it all wrong.
Player: I am? Well then smarty pants what should I be doing?
Cat: What we have here is a two cat job.
Cat: Every time you try to smoke those rats out they run out of the hole, the only problem is the smoke clears fast enough for them to run back in before you can get over to them.
Player: I know that.
Cat: Well then why don't you let me help out. Tell me when you're going to start the fire and I'll race over and get the rats, while you're smoking them out.
Player: Great idea puss. I'll get right to it.
Player: Hey cat, you know the drill, get going.
Cat: Exterminate! Exterminate!
Cat: Sorry, I got a little carried away.
Player: Hey cat, great job. What an ambush!
Player: You know you really scare me sometimes.
Talkin' to Smokin' Joe Edit
Player: I got them.
Cat: You got them? I think I may have had something to do with it.
Joe screws his face up tightly and his ears start to wiggle a little.
Smokin' Joe: Did you now?
Cat: Well of course you'd hardly expect that human to do a ratcatchers job.
Player: What, what's going on? Do you have an amulet of catspeak as well?
Smokin' Joe: No, I don't need such trinkets. See these ears? I can tune them to any language I like.
Player: But you were responding in cat.
Smokin' Joe: Ya well that's not too difficult, it's just really a case of trial and error and being a good mimic. Tuning your ears is the hardest part.
Player: Maybe you could show me how to do that?
Smokin' Joe: I just don't think you've got the ears for it.
Smokin' Joe: Well good show. Good *Wheeze* Bluaaghhaha. *Wheeze* good show.
Smokin' Joe: I'd better show you our rat pits here in Keldagrim.
Player: Great stuff. Let's go.
Smokin' Joe: They're quite nice, but just don't compare with what they have in Port Sarim.
Player: They have ratpits in Port Sarim?
Smokin' Joe: Why of course! Where else would us ratcatchers train our wily cats?
Player: Wily cats?
Smokin' Joe: Look for 'The Face' in Port Sarim. She'll show you.
Player: So where are the Keldagrim pits then?
Smokin' Joe: Try the stairs into the basement of the 'Laughing Miner'. A grand watering hole it is.
Port Sarim Edit
Meeting the face Edit
The Face: Ah you, peasant. Felkrash wishes to speak with you.
' The Face' comports herself in an air of haughtiness uncommon to those with appearances as ugly as hers.
Player: Ok, where would I find her?
The Face: You should find her below in the pits.
A difficult task Edit
Player: Hello, the face said that you were looking to talk with me.
Felkrash: Indeed, word has gotten to me from our other ratcatcher chapters that you are quite a talent.
Player: Well I can't take all the credit, I've had more than a little help from my cat.
Felkrash: Modesty, a trait seldom displayed by adventurers these days.
Felkrash: Too many more like you and I'll lose half of my business.
Player: Why is that?
Felkrash: Epic poems of bravery and heroics aren't usually commissioned by the shy and retiring.
Player: Smokin' Joe said that you know lots about training wily cats.
Felkrash: Indeed I do. It's for this very reason that I requested to talk to you.
Player: So you will show me how to turn my cat into a wily cat?
Felkrash: No, not yet.
Felkrash: No I need you to carry out just one task for me.
Player: Well experience has taught me to expect as much, what must I do?
Felkrash: Nothing too difficult, just rid the port of every single rat, with just one action.
Player: Are you serious?
You see a manic glint in her eye which you had previously missed.
Player: But why? Why one stroke, why not a slow eradication?
Felkrash: I want to write a new poem.
Player: I am touched that you want to write an epic poem about me, but why can't you write the poem about seagulls or daffodils or something?
Felkrash: Well seagulls rarely make good central characters. They're a bit too ... uhm... flighty.
Felkrash: Besides the poem is about me not you.
Player: Sorry I don't follow.
Felkrash: I myself carried out the very same feat once upon a time.
Player: So why do you need me to repeat your most heroic of feats?
Felkrash: It's all about objectivity and integrity. I need to be utterly divorced from the process.
Player: Umm... ok, I suppose.
Player: So can you tell me how you went about achieving this?
Felkrash: No. Therein lies the challenge.
Player: *Sigh* Why does it always have to be like this?
Mission possible Edit
The Face: Oh it's you again. *She glances at you with barely disguised disdain.*
Player: *Aside* I wonder what her problem is?
The Face: Have you spoken with Felkrash yet?
You notice a rather unkempt looking cat nearby. Despite its bedraggled appearance it exudes power, strength and intelligence beyond that of a normal cat.
Player: That's an interesting looking cat.
The Face: Ah yes Belle. What a cat. Felkrash trained her for me shortly after she single handedly charmed all the rats of the Port and drowned them.
Player: I love that story. My favourite part is how she managed to get rid of all the rats. Would you tell it to me?
The Face: I don't know, I really shouldn't.
Player: *Aside* I'll get the story out of her, a little sweet talking should do the trick.
Player: Oh please tell me, I'm sure you'd tell the story wonderfully, you have such a pretty ...
The Face: Yes...?
The Face: *The face's face perks up at the mention of the word pretty.*
The Face: Oh. *And just as quickly turns sour again.*
Player: *Aside* Dang!
Player: ... which compliments your radiant aura.
Player: *Aside* That should do the trick.
The Face: Oh you're too generous.
The Face: Do you know something, I think I'll tell you, mind you, don't tell Felkrash about this, she'd only get sore with me.
The Face: She's the story teller not me.
The Face: One day ...
The Face: And that is how she drowned the rats.
You just about manage to stay awake through the long and turgid recital of the story.
The snakecharmer of Pollnivneach from what you gathered seemed to play a critical role in the story.
Player: *Aside* Perhaps I should pay this snake charmer a visit.
Ali the Snake Charmer Edit
The snake charmer snaps out of his trance and directs his full attention to you.
Player: Wow, a snake charmer. Can I have a go? Can I have a go? Please?
Ali the Snake Charmer: Well what's holding you back then? You have your own snake charming flute.
Player: I want to talk to you about animal charming.
Ali the Snake Charmer: That depends.
Ali the Snake Charmer: ~You can literally see the glint of money light up across his eyes.
Player: No way.
Ali the Snake Charmer: No way what?
Ali the Snake Charmer: ~The glint begins to wane a little.
Player: I've already given you some money. Listen I would like to ask you about someone.
Ali the Snake Charmer: Go on. Who?
Player: Felkrash the bard.
Ali the Snake Charmer: Pah!
Ali the Snake Charmer: A look of disgust crosses his face.
Ali the Snake Charmer: I taught her all she knows about animal charming, and then she uses the knowledge to kill.
Player: What's wrong with killing vermin? They're dangerous carriers of disease.
Ali the Snake Charmer: Music should never be used to kill. I remember when we used to sing about love, not war nor killing.
Ali the Snake Charmer: Oh things were a lot better in those days.
Player: So there's nothing I could do to get you teach me how to charm rats?
Ali the Snake Charmer: Not a thing.
Player: What if I offered you a drink?
Ali the Snake Charmer: I'd say thank you very much and take it.
Player: But would you teach me?
Ali the Snake Charmer: That might depend on how the drink tasted.
Player: So what's your favourite drink then?
Ali the Snake Charmer: Beer, just plain old beer.
Player: I don't have any beer on me.
Ali the Snake Charmer: Well then you'll never know.
You offer the snake charmer a beer.
The snake charmer downs the beer in one slug.
Ali the Snake Charmer: *Smacks lips together* Ohhh, that really hit the spot.
Player: So will you teach me now?
Ali the Snake Charmer: No.
Player: But,... but...
The snakecharmer turns his attention back to his snake, who seems to be coming around from its trance like state.
Player: What if I offered you some food?
Ali the Snake Charmer: I'd say I wasn't hungry.
Player: What if I offered you some money?
Ali the Snake Charmer: A glint of gold temporarily flashes across the charmer's eyes.
Ali the Snake Charmer: Now we're talking.
Player: How much are we talking about?
Ali the Snake Charmer: I'll teach you for [X] coins.
Player: I don't have that much money.
Ali the Snake Charmer: You're a resourceful looking adventurer I'm sure you'll work out something.
Go get more money.
How about I give you 50 coins?
Player: What if I offered you 50 coins?
Ali the Snake Charmer: You see the snake charmer's resolve visibly crumble.
Ali the Snake Charmer: Ok you have a deal.
The snake charmer sells you some music.
Ali the Snake Charmer: You've still got that flute I gave you before, I think.
Ali the Snake Charmer: Read the music, and copy what it says when you play the flute. You should attract flies to you like flies to a bucket of dung.
Player: What if I said I'd kill you?
Ali the Snake Charmer: Hah! You'd never get away with it. I've paid up all my protection money this week to the Menaphite and bandit thugs. You'd be doing well to leave this town alive.
You can see this avenue of pursuit is going nowhere and abandon it.
A little melody Edit
Rats start appearing out of nowhere, seemingly drawn to your music.
Each rat in turn throws itself into the water and drowns.
Returning to Felkrash Edit
Player: Ha! I did it. Did you see me?
Felkrash: Yes I saw that, now what can I do for you? Don't keep me overly long, I'm trying to complete my poem.
Player: Can you show me how to train my cat into a wily cat?
Felkrash: I can only train overgrown cats into wilycats.
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