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Before Let Them Eat PieEdit

Talking to KeppleEdit

  • Player: Hello there.
  • Kepple: Hello? Hello? What kind of low-class greeting is this? No matter. Clearly we move in very different social circles.
    • Kepple will select an insult at random:
      • Dialogue 1:
        • Kepple: Halutation, peasant.
        • Player: What did you just call me?
        • Kepple: I called you a peasant. Why, what of it?
          • (Continues below)
      • Dialogue 2:
        • Kepple: Salutation, peon.
        • Player: What did you just call me?
        • Kepple: I called you a peon. Why, what of it?
          • (Continues below)
      • Dialogue 3:
        • Kepple: Salutation, serf.
        • Player: What did you just call me?
        • Kepple: I called you a serf. Why, what of it?
          • (Continues below)
    • After Kepple insults you:
      • Who are you to go around insulting people like that?
        • Kepple: I'm Winston Kepple, purveyor of pretty much everything! I came here with my friends and colleagues from Falador to take advantage of this captive market that we have right here. And let me tell you, business has never been better.
        • Player: What do you mean?
        • Kepple: I mean that with the trolls attacking I've been able to peddle all kinds of goods to these rubes with an astonishing mark-up! Food, clothing, cake tins, fishing supplies... You name it, I make am making a profit on it.
        • Player: But a lot of these people have no homes or money! What about the war effort?
        • Kepple: Pfft. What about it? If the trolls wipe this place out the White Knights and some scruffy tramps with swords calling themselves heroes will take care of it. And then the survivors will need even more supplies to reclaim the land!
        • Player: You're all heart, aren't you?
        • Kepple: Oh pipe down. I didn't expect a commoner like you to understand the ways of high finance.
          • What are you doing here?
            • Kepple: Turning a healthy profit! The folk here are too poor to set up elsewhere, or too thick-headed to give up. My friends and I can sell them a one-coin shirt for fifteen, and they can't exactly shop around! So long as this war keeps going, we're going to be raking it in!
            • Player: But that's profiting on their misery!
            • Kepple: Well, you might say that, but there's a lot of history between here and my home.
            • Player: Wait, what?
            • Kepple: You see, Falador and Burthorpe have always had this rivalry going, due to them not liking the White Knights or something equally childish. So, we're loving this. You may well think were[sic] scum here, but back home in Falador - well, they are not quite so eager to judge us.
            • Player: I get the feeling they don't know all the facts. I'm sure the White Knights would not be happy with you starving refugees to turn a profit.
            • Kepple: Well what they don't know won't hurt them, will it? I'll bet you're one of those 'hero' types, aren't you? A bleeding heart and a burning desire to help everyone. It's numbskulls like you, giving your gear away or dropping it for people to find, that are ruining my business!
              • Who are you to go around insulting people like that?
                • (Same as above)
              • That's a very fancy outfit.
                • (Same as below)
              • I think I'm done here.
                • (Same as below)
          • That's a very fancy outfit.
            • (Same as below)
          • I think I'm done here.
            • (Same as below)
      • That's a very fancy outfit.
        • Kepple: I'm glad you like it. It is, theoretically, very expensive.
        • Player: Theoretically?
        • Kepple: Well, I had it made from the finest materials, purchased from businesses that I was a partner in, so I got a good discount. Then I had the finest seamstresses in Falador put out of work, and paid them a pittance to make it for me before I would let them seek employment elsewhere. So in the end I have a very wonderful set of clothes with little or no cost to myself.
        • Player: ...
        • Kepple: Yes, it is quite jaw-droppingly good, isn't it?
          • Who are you to go around insulting people like that?
            • (Same as above)
          • What are you doing here?
            • (Same as above)
          • I think I'm done here.
            • (Same as below)
      • I think I'm done here.
        • Kepple: Very well, it was...nice talking to you.

After Let Them Eat PieEdit

Talking to KeppleEdit

  • Kepple: I saw it. I saw all of it...
  • Player: Saw what?
  • Kepple: You don't know! You'll never know what I saw! The colours...all the colours...and sometimes NONE of the colours... The darkness came to me, then... with the stench. It protected my mind. But the darkness is still there. The smell... The smell of it will never, ever fade...
  • Player: Wait... Isn't this a little bit over the top from seeing Rolo get a little ill?
  • Kepple: A little ill? A little ill? The gods themselves wept tears of blood at the things he brought to light. Things that should never have been!
  • Player: I...see. Well, I'll leave you to your mad babbling now. Have fun!
  • Kepple: No! Don't leave me! It will come back for me!
  • Player: Bye! Going away now! Have fun!

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