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To access all of this dialogue the player must have:

Some dialogue options require that certain pieces of equipment be equipped or unequipped.

Player: Hello, what's your job?

Junior Cadet Bertol: One of upmost importance.

Player: Which is?

Dialogue Branches

A. Ring of charos (a) on or off, H.A.M. robes off
A-2. Ring of charos (a) on, H.A.M. robes off
A-2a. Do not use Charm
A-2b. Use Charm
A-2b becomes B-2
A-3. Ring of charos (a) off, H.A.M. robes off
B. Ring of charos (a) on or off, H.A.M. robes on
B-2. H.A.M. Dialogue
b-1. H.A.M.?
b-2. Why are you here?
b-2a. Support his cause
b-2b. Disagree with him
b-3. What have you done?
b-4. Finishing up

A. Junior Cadet Bertol: It's so incredibly top-secret that I'd have to kill you if you found out.

Ring of charos (a) on, H.A.M. robes off
Ring of charos (a) off, H.A.M. robes off

A-2. Use Ring of charos (a)?

Select an Option
A-2a. 1. Best I not prod further, then.
A-2b. 2. I can keep a secret. (Charm.)
1. Best I not prod further, then.
Player: Best I not prod further, then.
Dialogue ends.
2. I can keep a secret. (Charm.)
Player: I can keep a secret.
Junior Cadet Bertol: Very well. I'm a member of H.A.M.
Skip to H.A.M. Dialogue

A-3. With neither Ring of charos (a) nor H.A.M. robes

Player: I can keep a secret.
Junior Cadet Bertol: The knowledge alone would fry your little brain.
Player: I doubt it.
Junior Cadet Bertol: It so would!
Player: Wouldn't.
Junior Cadet Bertol: Would.
Player: Wouldn't.
Junior Cadet Bertol: Would.
Player: Wouldn't times ten!
Junior Cadet Bertol: Would times infinity!
Player: Prove it.
Junior Cadet Bertol: Okay, I'm under cover as...ah you almost had me, there.
Player: Ah, so close!
Dialogue ends.

B. With any H.A.M. robe item worn, with or without Ring of charos (a)

Junior Cadet Bertol: Well, I see from your clothes that you're a member of H.A.M. I am too.
To H.A.M. Dialogue

B-2. H.A.M. Dialogue

Select an Option
b-1. 1. What's H.A.M.?
b-2. 2. What's H.A.M. got to do with this command centre?
b-2a. 1. I wish you good luck.
b-2b. 2. How awful.
b-3. 3. What have you done while undercover?
b-4. 4. I've heard enough.
1. What's H.A.M.?
Player: What's H.A.M.?
Junior Cadet Bertol: It stands for 'Humans Against Monsters': a group keen on enforcing that humans are all that belongs[sic] on RuneScape.
Back to H.A.M. Dialogue
2. What's H.A.M. got to do with this command centre?
Player: What's H.A.M. got to do with this command centre?
Junior Cadet Bertol: Open your eyes! It's crawling with all manner of disgusting creatures. At least they've got one thing right - humans are officers rather than grunts.
Player: But what can H.A.M. do about it?
Junior Cadet Bertol: My friend, I'm on a mission to stop it all - by any means necessary.
Select an Option
1. I wish you good luck.
Player: I wish you good luck.
Junior Cadet Bertol: Thanks. I can assure you that I'll need no luck with the ingenuity of my plans.
Back to H.A.M. Dialogue
2. How awful.
Player: How awful.
Junior Cadet Bertol: There's nothing awful about my mission.
Player: I disagree. Give me one reason why I shouldn't head to an officer and tell them of your secret agenda.
Junior Cadet Bertol: Do as you wish. He'll never believe some stranger over a cadet.
Player: You mean junior cadet.
Junior Cadet Bertol: How observant of you.
Back to H.A.M. Dialogue
3. What have you done while undercover?
Player: What have you done while undercover?
Junior Cadet Bertol: Plenty! Spreading rumours, sabotaging special units; recently, I've hit upon mixing up the battle orders so commanders end up travelling to the wrong destinations! He he.
Player: Cunning.
Back to H.A.M. Dialogue
4. I've heard enough.
Player: I've heard enough.
Junior Cadet Bertol: Fine by me.
Dialogue ends.

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