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Reason: missing dialogue for after completing all tasks
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  • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: My name is Holstein, emissary of the Godless. I am here to teach you about them. If you wish, you can declare your support for the Godless, and I have some jobs you can do.
  • Who are you?
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: My name is Holstein, and I am a wanderer by nature. I have travelled the world and seen much. I have seen the devastation of the Wilderness; I have seen the corruption of Morytania; I have seen the cold, crystalline walls of the elf city of Prifddinas. I have seen as the gods returned and immediately set to claiming lives and lands. One, I have already seen fall. All of this brings me to believe one thing: we do not need the gods. So, I am here as the emissary of the Godless - those who follow no god.
  • Can you tell me about the Godless?
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: What do you want to know about the Godless?
      • Who are the Godless?
        • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: The Godless are a group of like-minded individuals, striving for a world where there are no gods; no 'supreme beings' fighting for dominance. We may not be as strong as the gods alone, but together we believe we can rise up and cast them from this world. We are our own protectors!
      • Why should I join the Godless?
        • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: The Godless represent those who are dissatisfied with the gods. We do not want to be mere pawns of some greater power. By joining with the Godless, you too can cast off the shackles of the gods, and be free to follow your own path.
      • What do the Godless want?
        • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: We of the Godless want a world without gods. We have seen the strife they have wrought, and we see no future on that path. Bandos has already fallen. Gods can die. We can be free of them!
  • I want to declare my support for the Godless!
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: Good! On behalf of the Godless, I welcome you. Please, take this banner to show your support. I have a gift for you. It is a book of stories and other accounts, pertaining to the gods and their followers - as well as some of our own. Read it. It is important that you understand what we are up against. The book is not yet complete, however. When you complete some jobs I will give you more pages.
The emissary gives you the Book of the Gods.

Jobs and rewardsEdit

During Cabbage Facepunch BonanzaEdit

  • If unaligned
  • If aligned with the Godless, and the gods are currently in the lead
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: Terrible news; the gods are winning this strange battle. We need to redouble our efforts!
  • If aligned with Brassica Prime
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: I see you have chosen to support the arrogant Brassica Prime. If you ever want to escape his grasp you can change sides with the quartermaster.
  • If aligned with Marimbo
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: I see you have chosen to support the hedonistic Marimbo. If you weary of her frivolity you can change sides at the quartermaster.
  • Player: Who are you?
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: My name is Holstein, and I am a wanderer by nature. I have travelled the world and seen much.
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: I have seen the devastation of the Wilderness; I have seen the corruption of Morytania; I have seen the ruins here in Lumbridge and by the Goblin Village.
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: I have seen as the gods returned and immediately set to claiming lives and lands. Two, I have already seen fall.
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: The 'god of order' stole the power of Guthix in a battle that left hundreds of his followers dead.
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: The 'just' Armadyl took up his enemy's fallen weapon in an instant when given the chance.
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: And for what? It is rumoured that Guthix's killer has offered yet more power to the winner of these battles.
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: All of this brings me to believe one thing: we do not need the gods.
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: So, I am here as the emissary of the Godless - those who follow no god.
  • Where is Kara-Meir? This option only appears if another has been selected first
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: She... well she came here initially. But she had to leave.
    • Player: What happened?
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: She stood before the gods and began to declare that all races would eventually be free of their influence. It was a glorious, stirring sight.
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: Then they began to laugh and pelt her with things. Then they called her insulting names.
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: So in the end she left to get cleaned up.
    • Player: Cleaned up?
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: Well, Brassica threw cabbages. I will leave it up to your imagination what Marimbo and her followers threw.
    • Player: Oh? OH!
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: Yes. Kara-Meir has left me here in her stead while she cleans herself. Repeatedly.
    • Player: Don't you have that problem with the gods?
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: No. In some ways it is worse. You see, Brassica has taken it into his head that I am some sort of vagrant due to my costume.
    • Brassica Prime: You! Naked homeless person! In my generosity I have decided to donate leaves with which you can cover your fleshy body.
    • Brassica Prime: Not my own of course. But they will serve to keep you warm. Am I not benevolent?
    • Player: I see. And what about Marimbo?
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: Don't ask...
    • Marimbo: Hey! Tall, dark and shirtless! Why not come over here and give your Auntie Marimbo a kiss?
    • Player: That's disturbing.
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: I don't think she's serious. She always laughs when she flirts with me.
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: And she is the goddess of pleasure and hedonism, after all. She may just be playing the part. But if not...
    • Player: I think we should back away from this conversation now.
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: Quite.
  • Player: Tell me about your group.
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: We believe that all the mortal races would be better off without the gods.
    • Brassica Prime: Lies! Deliciousness pervades all!
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: The world is worse for their returning. They have brought only hardship and suffering.
    • Marimbo: Holstein! Pookie! My feet hurt from peeling bananas all day. I need a big, strong man to give them a rub!
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: Look around us; the devastation of the Lumbridge swamp, the ravaging hordes unleashed by Armadyl and Bandos.
    • Brassica Prime: Shameless woman! Leave that poor, destitute madman alone. The fact that he cannot afford clothing is no reason to accost him.
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: Grr... anyone is free to join our group as long as they renounce the gods who...
    • Marimbo: Accost him? I've seen the way he looks at me. He's clearly got a thing for big, hairy women!
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: ...The gods who have returned to bring us misery and strife...
    • Brassica Prime: And deliciousness!
    • Marimbo: And foot rubs!
    • Brassica Primes: And cabbages!
    • Marimbo: And booze!
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: Will you stop interrupting me?
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: Look. We don't have a people or recruit from only one race.
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: We have dwarves, goblins and even trolls in our number. We have warriors, herbalists, librarians... all pledged to us.
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: If you do not believe that the gods are good for the world then you are welcome amongst us.
  • Player: Why should I follow you?
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: If you follow us, we can promise you freedom from the gods.
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: You can even wear our cape to proclaim that you no longer follow any of the usurping deities.
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: All we ask is that you pledge that you will no longer follow any of the gods.
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: Unlike them, we ask no more than that.
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: In this case, all you have to do is disrupt these games.
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: If neither of them wins, it will send a message. A message that we're not going to stand for this any longer!
  • Player: Why are you fighting these gods?
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: After the battle between Armadyl and Bandos that so ravaged the land, we could no longer stand idly by.
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: Mortals from across the world, incensed at the gods' selfishness and ambition, flocked to our banner. It was time to strike back.
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: We came as soon as we heard that two gods were engaging in battle here. We expected another war to be brewing.
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: Instead we found... this. I must say I was hoping for something a little more...
    • Marimbo: Hey, salad features! How's life without thumbs?
    • Brassica Prime: It is perfectly delicious, thank you. How is life without morals?
    • Marimbo: Oooh, good one! Let me write that down on something, using my hands.
    • Brassica Prime: Foolish monkey, I do not need hands. I write upon the very fabric of the universe!
    • Marimbo: Is that what those stains are? I thought you were leaking!
    • Brassica Prime: Typical of you, Marimbo. Lowering this conversation to the gutter once more.
    • Marimbo: I thought it would make you feel at home, being in the dirt and all.
    • Brassica Prime: Curse you, woman! My victory over you will be more delicious than you can ever imagine!
    • Player: ...dignified?
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: Yes. Exactly.
  • Player: That's everything.
    • Holstein, Emissary of the Godless: I will be here if you need to talk.

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