- Dr Spider MD: Human! You will take Dr Spider for walkies.
- Player: That's what we're doing.
- Dr Spider MD: I know, because I will it.
- Player: No, because *I* will it. Are you still trying to use the Ring of Charos on me?
- Player: Quit doing that or I'll confiscate it.
- Dr Spider MD: Curses!
- Player: You seem deep in thought.
- Dr Spider MD: I am trying to think of a ne-
- Dr Spider MD: Eureka!
- Player: Uh oh, this can't be good. What are you trying to invent now?
- Dr Spider MD: Oh, er, certainly nothing that will help me to take over the world, or anything like that. No. Honest.
- Player: Well, good.
- Dr Spider MD: Spider Brain! Spider Brain! Does whatever a Spider Brain can! Can't spin webs yet of any size! Still needs to invent mechanical eyes! Look out! Here comes the Spider Brain!
- Player: Do you have any spider-like abilities besides being able to creep people out?
- Dr Spider MD: Hmm, now that you mention it, no. I've been working on inventing a mechanical web-slinging device, along with a compound to form a web-like material.
- Player: What would you do with such an invention?
- Dr Spider MD: Take over the world!
- Player: Of course.
- Player: So, what's it like being the brain of a human mad scientist in a jar on the back of a steam-powered mechanical spider body and oh my god what are these words coming out of my mouth?
- Dr Spider MD: It takes a lot of getting used to. My human brain is only used to working with two legs. I have to really concentrate to move all eight in coordination.
- Dr Spider MD: Which means I can only do mad science while standing still.
- Player: Great! Then let's keep moving.
- Dr Spider MD: Uh, wicka wicka wild, wicka wild, wicka wil-
- Player: Just don't.
- Dr Spider MD: Aww, spoilsport.
- Player: Wait, why are you called Dr Spider MD? You're a mad scientist, not a doctor of medicine!
- Dr Spider MD: It stands for 'mechanical device'.
- Player: Oh, right, well - that explains that, thank you.
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