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Reason: dialogue for accounts that have not done the quests
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  • Where am I?
    • Donie: This is the town of Lumbridge my friend.
  • How are you today?
    • Donie: Aye, not too bad thank you. Lovely weather in RuneScape this fine day.
    • Player: Weather?
    • Donie: Yes weather, you know. The state or condition of the atmosphere at a time and place, with respect to variables such as temperature, moisture, wind velocity, and barometric pressure.
    • Player: ...
    • Donie: Not just a pretty face eh? Ha ha ha.
  • Are there any quests I can do here?
    • Donie: What kind of quest are you looking for?
      • I fancy a bit of a fight, anything dangerous?
        • Donie: Hmm.. dangerous you say? What sort of creatures are you looking to fight?
          • Big scary demons!
            • Donie: You are a brave soul indeed. Now that you mention it, I heard a rumour about a Saradominist in the Varrock church who is rambling about some kind of greater evil.. sounds demon-like if you ask me. Perhaps you should check it out if you are as brave as you say?
            • If the player has completed Demon Slayer:
              • Player: I've already killed the demon Delrith. He was merely a stain on my sword when I was finished with him!
              • Donie: Well done! However I'm sure if you search around the world you will find more challenging foes to slay.
          • Vampyres!
            • Donie: Ha ha. I personally don't believe in such things. However, there is a man in Draynor Village who has been scaring the village folk with stories of vampyres. He's named Morgan and can be found in one of the village houses. Perhaps you could see what the matter is?
            • If the player has completed Vampyre Slayer:
              • Player: Oh I have already killed that nasty blood-sucking vampyre. Draynor will be safe now.
              • Donie: Yeah, yeah of course you did. Everyone knows vampyres are not real...
              • Player: What! I did slay the beast.. I really did.
              • Donie: You're not fooling anyone you know.
              • Player: ..Huh.. But... Hey! I did... believe what you like.
          • Small.. something small would be good.
            • Donie: Small? Small isn't really that dangerous though is it?
            • Player: Yes it can be! There could be anything from an evil chicken to a poisonous spider. They attack in numbers you know!
            • Donie: Yes ok, point taken. Speaking of small monsters, I hear old Wizard Mizgog in the wizards' tower has just had all his beads taken by a gang of mischievous imps. Sounds like it could be a quest for you?
            • If the player has completed Imp Catcher:
              • Player: Yes I know of Mizgog and have already helped him with his imp problem. It took me ages to find those beads!
              • Donie: Imps will be imps!
          • Maybe another time.
      • Something easy please, I'm new here.
        • Donie: I can tell you about plenty of small easy tasks. The Lumbridge cook has been having problems and the Duke is confused over some strange rocks.
          • The Lumbridge cook.
            • Donie: It's funny really, the cook would forget his head if it wasn't screwed on. This time he forgot to get ingredients for the Duke's birthday cake. Perhaps you could help him? You will probably find him in the Lumbridge Castle kitchen.
            • If the player has completed Cook's Assistant:
              • Player: I have already helped the cook in Lumbridge.
              • Donie: Oh yes, so you have. I am sure the Duke will be pleased.
          • The Duke's strange stones.
            • Donie: Well the Duke of Lumbridge has found a strange stone that no one seems to understand. Perhaps you could help him? You can probably find him upstairs in Lumbridge Castle.
            • If the player has completed Rune Mysteries:
              • Player: Yes, I have already solved the Rune mysteries.
              • Donie: Ah excellent. Thank you very much adventurer.
          • Maybe another time.
      • I'm a thinker rather than a fighter, anything skill oriented?
        • Donie: Skills play a big part when you want to progress in knowledge throughout RuneScape. I know of a few skill-related quests that can get you started. You may be able to help out Fred the farmer who is in need of someones crafting expertise. Or, there's always Doric the dwarf who needs an errand running for him?
          • Fred the farmer.
            • Donie: You can find Fred next to the field of sheep in Lumbridge. Perhaps you should go and speak with him.
            • If the player has completed Sheep Shearer:
              • I have already helped Fred the farmer. I sheared his sheep and made 20 balls of wool for him. He wouldn't let me kill his chickens though.
              • Donie: Lumbridge chickens do make good target practice. You will have to wait until he isn't looking.
          • Doric the dwarf.
            • Donie: Doric the dwarf is located north of Falador. He might be able to help you with smithing. You should speak to him. He may let you use his anvils.
            • If the player has completed Doric's Quest:
              • Player: Yes, I've been to see Doric already. He was happy to let me use his anvils after I ran a small errand for him.
              • Donie: Oh, good. Thank you [player name]!
          • Maybe another time.
      • I want to do all kinds of things, do you know of anything like that?
        • Donie: Of course I do. RuneScape is a huge place you know, now let me think... Hetty the witch in Rimmington might be able to offer help in the ways of magical abilities. Also, pirates are currently docked in Port Sarim. Where pirates are, treasure is never far away... Or you could go and help out Ernest who got lost in Draynor Manor, spooky place that.
          • Hetty the Witch.
            • Donie: Hetty the witch can be found in Rimmington, south of Falador. She's currently working on some new potions. Perhaps you could give her a hand? She might be able to offer help with your magical abilities.
            • If the player has completed Witch's Potion:
              • Player: Yes, I have already been to see Hetty. She gave me super cosmic powers after I helped out with her potion! I could probably destroy you with a single thought.
              • Donie: Did she really?
              • Player: No, not really.
              • Donie: Right...
          • Pirate's treasure.
            • Donie: RedBeard Frank in Port Sarim's bar, the Rusty Anchor might be able to tell you about the rumoured treasure that is buried somewhere in RuneScape.
            • If the player has completed Pirate's Treasure:
              • Player: Yarr! I already found the booty!
              • Donie: Yarr indeed my friend. A most excellent find.
              • Player: Yarr!
              • Donie: Yarrr!
              • Player: YARRR!
              • Donie: Right, that's enough of that!
              • Player: ..Sorry.
          • Ernest and Draynor Manor.
            • Donie: The best place to start would be at the gate to Draynor Manor. There you will find Veronica who will be able to tell you more. I suggest you tread carefully in that place; it's haunted.
            • If the player has completed Ernest the Chicken:
              • Player: Yeah, I found Ernest already. Professor Oddstein had turned him into a chicken!
              • Donie: A chicken!?
              • Player: Yeah a chicken. It could have been worse though.
              • Donie: Very true, poor guy.
          • Maybe another time.
      • Maybe another time.
  • What's happened here lately?
    • Player: What's happened here lately?
    • Donie: Lumbridge has recently been damaged by a battle between Saradomin and Zamorak in the crater to the west of the castle.
    • Donie: The battle is over now, though. There's a Saradominist zealot keeping vigil there now.
  • Where can I get a haircut like yours?
    • Donie: Yes, it does look like you need a hairdresser.
    • Player: Oh thanks!
    • Donie: No problem. The hairdresser in Falador will probably be able to sort you out. The Lumbridge general store sells useful maps if you don't know the way.
  • Do you have anything of value which I can have?
    • Donie: Are you asking for free stuff?
    • Player: Well... er... yes.
    • Donie: No I do not have anything I can give you. If I did have anything of value I wouldn't want to give it away.
  • Your shoe lace is untied.
    • Donie: No it's not!
    • Player: No you're right. I have nothing to back that up.
    • Donie: Fool! Leave me alone!
  • Can I buy your stick?
    • Donie: It's not a stick! I'll have you know it's a very powerful staff!
    • Player: Really? Show me what it can do!
    • Donie: Um... It's a bit low on power at the moment.
    • Player: It's a stick isn't it?
    • Donie: ...Ok it's a stick. But only while I save up for a staff. Zaff in Varrock square sells them in his shop.
    • Player: Well good luck with that.

During the Battle of LumbridgeEdit

  • Player: What's happened here lately?
    • Donie: Lumbridge has recently been damaged by a battle between Saradomin and Zamorak in the crater to the west of the castle.
    • Donie: They're still fighting there now. I suppose you could go and join in if you wanted to.
    • Player: I already have!
    • Donie: Well, you know as much as I do about it then.

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