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1. Who are you?

  • Player: Who are you?
  • Bard Roberts: Arr, the name be Bard Roberts, an' me companion here be Stanky Morgan. Pleased to meet ye!
  • Stanky Morgan: Ecstatic.
  • Player: So, what do you do?
  • Bard Roberts: I play music an' sing, mostly. Ye can sit down and rest a while, if ye like.
  • Bard Roberts: Oh! It's ye, Player! Tales of yer heroism among the pirates has spread far an' wide. I've knocked up a little shanty about ye, if ye have time fer it?


1.1. How could I refuse?

  • Player: How could I refuse?
  • Stanky Morgan: Easily, Player. Ye just say 'no'. Too late now, though. Thanks a bunch.
  • Bard Roberts: Aha! Time fer a shanty! Which of yer adventures shall I regale ye with, Player?
  • Stanky Morgan: Here we go again...


1.1.1. Pirate's Treasure.

  • Player: Can you sing about the time I found the pirate's treasure?
  • Bard Roberts: Aye, Player! I certainly can!

This cutscene is roughly one minute long and, once started, cannot be cancelled.


1.1.1.1. Yes!

(The shanty cutscene begins)

(Bard Roberts sings the following text as a sea shanty)

  • Bard Roberts: Oh, Frank's love of o'erproof rum,
  • Bard Roberts: Proved to be quite the conundrum,
  • Bard Roberts: 'Cause those custom sorts,
  • Bard Roberts: Banned it from exports,
  • Bard Roberts: So poor Frank was sober 'n' glum!
  • Bard Roberts: In a crate filled up with 'nanas,
  • Bard Roberts: But devoid of all sultanas,
  • Bard Roberts: The rum ye concealed,
  • Bard Roberts: And the crate ye sealed,
  • Bard Roberts: And smuggled it off Karamja!
  • Bard Roberts: Well, ye sailed back to Port Sarim,
  • Bard Roberts: And ye got a job from Wydin.
  • Bard Roberts: With yer apron ties,
  • Bard Roberts: Ye reclaimed yer prize,
  • Bard Roberts: From the crate it got dropped off in!
  • Bard Roberts: With his rum, Frank were elated,
  • Bard Roberts: His alcohol cravings sated.
  • Bard Roberts: He showed ye the mark,
  • Bard Roberts: In Falador Park,
  • Bard Roberts: Where the treasure were located!


1.1.1.2. No, I need to change my audio settings.

(Closes dialogue)


1.1.2. Rum Deal.

  • Player: Can you sing about the time I got a rum deal from Cap'n Braindeath?
  • Bard Roberts: Aye, Player! I certainly can!

This cutscene is roughly one minute long and, once started, cannot be cancelled.


1.1.2.1. Yes!

(The shanty cutscene begins)

(Bard Roberts sings the following text as a sea shanty)

  • Bard Roberts: Pirate Pete told ye a tall tale,
  • Bard Roberts: Of a demon on which to wail,
  • Bard Roberts: But 'twas all a test,
  • Bard Roberts: A made-up request,
  • Bard Roberts: Afore the truth he could unveil!
  • Bard Roberts: To the Braindeath Isle ye travelled,
  • Bard Roberts: By the business-end o' paddle,
  • Bard Roberts: Zombie pirate drunks,
  • Bard Roberts: With 'rum'-ridden funks,
  • Bard Roberts: And yer sanity unravelled!
  • Bard Roberts: Braindeath revealed his conundrum,
  • Bard Roberts: As a task 'twas nothing humdrum,
  • Bard Roberts: Make a vile brew,
  • Bard Roberts: Use it to subdue,
  • Bard Roberts: Zombies picketing the 'rum'-run!
  • Bard Roberts: So, ye brewed it like ye oughta,
  • Bard Roberts: Using squids, slugs, stagnant water,
  • Bard Roberts: Got the zombies drunk,
  • Bard Roberts: Their blockade debunked,
  • Bard Roberts: Nay more brewers to the slaughter!


1.1.2.2. No, I need to change my audio settings.

(Closes dialogue)


1.1.3. Cabin Fever.

  • Player: Can you sing about the time me and Bill had a case of cabin fever?
  • Bard Roberts: Aye, Player! I certainly can!

This cutscene is roughly one minute long and, once started, cannot be cancelled.


1.1.3.1. Yes!

(The shanty cutscene begins)

(Bard Roberts sings the following text as a sea shanty)

  • Bard Roberts: At the Green Ghost in Phasmatys,
  • Bard Roberts: Ye had offered yer help gratis.
  • Bard Roberts: Bill Teach were his name,
  • Bard Roberts: Sailing were his game,
  • Bard Roberts: But he lacked the apparatus!
  • Bard Roberts: 'Twas nay a ship he was lackin',
  • Bard Roberts: But his crew had all gone packin'.
  • Bard Roberts: Bill's men had all fled,
  • Bard Roberts: Filled with fear 'n' dread,
  • Bard Roberts: Of his enemies attackin'!
  • Bard Roberts: With ye as his crew instated,
  • Bard Roberts: Bill's fears chemically abated,
  • Bard Roberts: Ye and he set sail,
  • Bard Roberts: Him certain ye'd fail,
  • Bard Roberts: He believed yer trip ill-fated!
  • Bard Roberts: When the enemy descended,
  • Bard Roberts: Yer performance were most splendid,
  • Bard Roberts: Ye pilfered their loot,
  • Bard Roberts: Sank their ship te boot,
  • Bard Roberts: Yon Adventurous defended!


1.1.3.2. No, I need to change my audio settings.

(Closes dialogue)


1.1.4. The Great Brain Robbery.

  • Player: Can you sing about the time I thwarted the Great Brain Robbery?
  • Bard Roberts: Aye, Player! I certainly can!

This cutscene is roughly one minute long and, once started, cannot be cancelled.


1.1.4.1. Yes!

(The shanty cutscene begins)

(Bard Roberts sings the following text as a sea shanty)

  • Bard Roberts: On Mos'Le Harmless by the sea,
  • Bard Roberts: Ye met Brother Tranquil-i-ty,
  • Bard Roberts: He asked a favour,
  • Bard Roberts: From someone braver,
  • Bard Roberts: For his brothers on Har-mo-ny.
  • Bard Roberts: Thanks te zombie pirate Sorebones,
  • Bard Roberts: They hit ye w' gas,
  • Bard Roberts: But yer ward held fast,
  • Bard Roberts: Ye escaped meetin' Davey Jones!
  • Bard Roberts: Just east of the Slayer Tower,
  • Bard Roberts: Was a surgeon who did cower,
  • Bard Roberts: You made Fenk-en-strain,
  • Bard Roberts: Transplant the monks' brains,
  • Bard Roberts: For freedom from lupine glower!
  • Bard Roberts: Mi-Gor tried to stop your heart's pace,
  • Bard Roberts: Yer foe's arm: part anchor, part mace,
  • Bard Roberts: Struck without delay,
  • Bard Roberts: But him ye did slay,
  • Bard Roberts: Made him look a total...
  • Bard Roberts: ...moron.


1.1.4.2. No, I need to change my audio settings.

(Closes dialogue)


1.1.5. Rocking Out.

  • Player: Can you sing about the time me and Young Ralph were rocking out?
  • Bard Roberts: Aye, Player! I certainly can!

This cutscene is roughly one minute long and, once started, cannot be cancelled.


1.1.5.1. Yes!

(The shanty cutscene begins)

(Bard Roberts sings the following text as a sea shanty)

  • Bard Roberts: In Jack ye were in-ter-ested,
  • Bard Roberts: So, you got yerself arrested,
  • Bard Roberts: To hear Ralph's remarks,
  • Bard Roberts: But he wanted marks,
  • Bard Roberts: From five captains tried and tested!
  • Bard Roberts: So, fer Bill ye claimed a treasure,
  • Bard Roberts: A new hand were Harry's pleasure,
  • Bard Roberts: And fer Braindeath's role,
  • Bard Roberts: Got a drinking hole,
  • Bard Roberts: To sell his 'rum' by the measure!
  • Bard Roberts: Stole a brooch for Izzy No-Beard,
  • Bard Roberts: And for Frank confirmed what he feared,
  • Bard Roberts: Proved that Jack was back,
  • Bard Roberts: And on the attack,
  • Bard Roberts: To secure a mark from Redbeard.
  • Bard Roberts: With the marks, ye heard the story,
  • Bard Roberts: Bloody, vi-o-lent and gory,
  • Bard Roberts: Of hos Jack were beat,
  • Bard Roberts: And we sunk his fleet,
  • Bard Roberts: For a short-lived age of glory!


1.1.5.2. No, I need to change my audio settings.

(Closes dialogue)


1.2. Not right now, thanks.

  • Player: Not right now, thanks.
  • Bard Roberts: Come and see me again if ye changed yer mind.
  • Stanky Morgan: Thank ye, Player. Ye've spared us all agony.
  • Bard Roberts: Shut it, Stanky!


2. Can I ask you some questions about resting?

2.1. How does resting work?

  • Player: So, how does resting work?
  • Stanky Morgan: What do ye mean, 'how does resting work'? Rest an' work are opposing concept: restin' don't work. Ye get tired, ye sit down, ye regain yer energy. No work involved.
  • Bard Roberts: What Stanky means is, choose the rest option on yer run button to start restin'.
  • Bard Roberts: When ye rest, ye'll recharge run energy an' life points faster than normal.
  • Bard Roberts: Restin' by a musician such as mesel-
  • Stanky Morgan: Huh! Musician? That be charitable.
  • Bard Roberts: Restin' by a musician such as meself will have a similar but more potent effect.


2.2. What's special about resting by a musician?

  • Player: What's special about resting by a musician?
  • Bard Roberts: Music soothes the mind an' relaxes ye, Player. Restin' by a musician will restore yer energy an' life points even faster than restin' anywhere else.


2.3. Can you summarise the effects for me?

  • Player: Can you summarise the effects for me?
  • Bard Roberts: Choose rest on yer run button te sit down. Yer life points an' energy will come back faster. If yer near enough te a musician, such as me'self, they'll come back even faster still.


2.4. That's all for now.

  • Player: That's all for now.
  • Bard Roberts: Come back soon, Player!
  • Stanky Morgan: Or don't, preferably.


3. Can I ask you some questions about running?

  • Player: Can I ask you some questions about running?
  • Stanky Morgan: No.
  • Player: Can I ask YOU some questions about running, Bard?
  • Bard Roberts: Aye, Player. Course ye can.
  • Player: Why do I need to run anyway?
  • Bard Roberts: Te get where yer goin' twice as fast was walkin', fer a start! And te escape from a fight faster if ye happen to be losin'.
  • Player: Can I keep running forever?
  • Stanky Morgan: What kind of question be that? Ye can't do anythin' forever, Player. Ye'd be dead afore then.
  • Bard Roberts: Stanky! No, ye can't. Ye'll run outta breath after runnin' for a time. Ye'll need to catch it before ye can run again.
  • Bard Roberts: If yer walkin' or standin' around, yer energy'll come back slowly. If yer restin', it'll come back quicker.

You may start running by clicking once on a run button attached to your minimap. It has an icon of a boot. Clicking the run button a second time will switch you back to walking. The button will tell you how much run energy you currently have.


4. That's all for now.

  • Player: That's all for now.
  • Bard Roberts: Come back soon, Player!
  • Stanky Morgan: Or don't, preferably.

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