Teddy - an agent of the PBJ - has gone missing while on the trail to find Larry. Chuck has received a ransom note from the Walrus and has asked you to investigate. Become a roadie for the famous Ping and Pong and break into a PoW camp to save Larry.
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Quest outline
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Your mission - should you choose to accept it - is to infiltrate the POW (Prisoner of Walrus) camp in which Teddy is incarcerated. With the help of rock gods Ping and Pong, you'll locate Teddy, incite a riot, beat the guards at Battlefish, and enact a prison break like no other.
You cannot have anything in your inventory when you start the quest.
Items required
Items from the tool belt are not listed unless they do not work or are not automatically added.
None
Enemies to defeat
None
PBJ MIA
Go to the Ardougne Zoo and speak to Chuck the polar bear. He will tell you that his agent, Teddy, was caught spying on the Penguins while gathering information about Larry, and was made a PoW (Prisoner of Walrus). Chuck will give you a ransom letter to read from the walrus. Players will now be notified to find the seals in Rellekka near the rock crabs. Speak to Chuck again for a teleport to the Rellekka dock.
Convincing the seals to allow you inside
Wake up the seal near the rock crabs on the beach, and choose the option "I'm looking for a Polar Bear". He will be uncooperative. Next choose the option "How can I entertain you?". Use the jump for joy or dance emote (not all emotes work) and talk to the seal again. Ask about the Penguins and then about his band. He will explain "Where all Penguins Live" and tell you that his favourite band is oppressed by "some guard".
Visiting Ping and Pong
Use Larry's old boat (which is just north of the seals) to travel to the Iceberg. Approach Ping and Pong, who are standing right next to the landing spot.
Ping and Pong inform you they were not fooled by your Penguin suit, and a humorous dialogue follows. After speaking with them, they ask you to make a Rock costume and Pop costume in the War Room in the penguin glacier, or a Crafting table in your POH. They provide you with the following materials to make them:
Go to Jim, the Polar Bear in the North east Corner, and activate Tuxedo-Time to get into your penguin suit. Head northwest and investigate the snow avalanche. Once inside, go north through the corridor. Talk to the gate guard in the Control panel booth and he will let you through, not wanting to be drugged up by you again. Proceed to the War-Room in the north-east corner of the cave. Select "Craft" on the work bench to create the suits. Press the red button to the right of the large double doors (the one you just passed) to exit.
Go back to Ping and Pong and give them the suits.
Tuxedo-Time out of your penguin suit, take the boat back to the seals and wake the seal to activate a cutscene. Afterwards, talk to the seal again to be transported to the Walrus Camp. You cannot wear any items or have anything in your inventory, but at this point you will be given the option to bank your items.
The Walrus Prison Camp
The Prisoner of Walrus camp.
When you arrive at the Walrus Camp talk to Teddy, the bear in a clown suit. Then talk to Larry (who is in a penguin costume and is a bit unhinged).
The bat in a box.
Return to Teddy and then talk to Noodle (located south, by the gate). Note: Noodle may not appear in the building, at first glance. It seems as if this NPC appears when the player speaks to Teddy. If Noodle does not appear, simply speak to Teddy again or exit the camp.
Attempt to enter the building that Walrus is in (located in the south, east of the gate). This will initiate a short monologue by Walrus, confirming that he has an egg.
Take the bat in a box from outside The Walrus's house. Then encourage Teddy, Bouncer (the seal at the south eastern part, with the other seals) and Ping & Pong to make enough noise to get The Walrus out of the tent. Continue clicking on all four characters, maintaining their sound levels for a couple of minutes. The character bars should all be blue. (Note: Ping and Pong count as a single entity during this part of the quest. Although they have separate progress bars for noise, clicking on one of them encourages both.) After 3 angry dialogues from The Walrus, he will grow increasingly annoyed, and eventually will approach the penguins to complain.
Entertaining the Seals.
When he walks outside, click through his dialogue until your character says you should go inside and get the egg. If you try to enter his tent before clicking through the Walrus' dialogue the cut scene will end and you will find yourself back at the gates to the camp. If this happens, simply attempt to enter the Walrus' tent and he will come out again.
The crashed submarine.
Enter the tent and steal from the table to get the egg. Walk out and give it to Larry. Talk to Teddy after that. He will ask you to talk to all 6 unnamed penguins to gather ideas on how to escape. Talk to Teddy then talk to the 6 penguins. There are four wandering in the central area, one hidden between the buildings to the left of Larry, and one in the northeast corner near a fishing hole. Report back to Teddy after speaking to all 6 penguins. He will tell you to talk to the older penguin, who turns out to be Plaza, the chess playing penguin by the kitchen. Plaza gives you a list about how to make Battlefish - a Battleship style board game.
Here are the steps for gathering the supplies for the game set:
Fishing for the Shark Tooth and Squid.
Fish in the hole to the north east for a shark tooth and a squid. (Make sure to not stand directly on the fishing spot or you won't be allowed to fish, refer to the picture for where to stand.)
Take the board from the wood scrap pile north of kitchen.
Use the hammer on the soap to carve it into game pieces.
Use the ripped fabric on the board to make a game board.
Take the game board back to Plaza. He will then give you the blueprints to the submarine.
Give the blueprints to Teddy. He tells you that there is a problem with the engine. After going through the dialogue, return to Astoria and ask her for help. She will only provide help if you defeat her in a game of Battlefish.
Tips for Battlefish
One pattern that is guaranteed to hit all enemy ships at least once.
If you've played Battleship, this should be relatively easy. The shortest piece in the game is 3 squares - therefore, you should space your shots out by 2 (vertically and horizontally) from your previous shot if it is a miss. A good starting method is to hit the centre first (E5, E6, F5, F6) since there is almost always a ship there. Fire at only one of these 4 spots. Assuming you chose E5, your next shots would be B5, H5, E2, and E8. Slowly work your way out from there by choosing shots that are 2 squares apart. If you get a hit, check the squares to the north, south, east and west of it until you get another hit, then continue that way. If you get a miss, go the opposite direction. Example: Say you have a hit at E5 and E6, but get a miss at E7, reverse direction would be E4, as that is the next square in line with the other hits. See below for an example of how to implement the 2 square spacing. Also, if you manage to sink both 3 square pieces and still have to find one or both 4 square pieces, you can change the space between the squares to 3. AI can place the battlefish at the edges.
If Astoria says, "Ha! You missed!", it's an indication that one of her Battlefish is close to your last shot (usually around two to three spaces away).
If you happen to fail, but have hit a battlefish, the battlefish will still be in the same spot when you restart.
Repairing the engine
After defeating Astoria in Battlefish, go to the circus supplies storage building directly south. Search the Circus prop crate to recover circus props (a single inventory item) and return to Teddy. You will then have to repair the engine of the submarine.
A Fully Repaired engine.
Select the bowling pin and use it on the lever opening
Select the Hula Hoop and use it on the broken valve wheel
Select the Circus plate and use it on the Pressure Gauge
Select the Foam finger and use it on the Pressure Gauge
Use the Purple Handkerchief on the Broken Pipe
Select the balloon and use it on the metal wire in your supply box creating an insulated wire
Use the insulated wire on the wirebox
When done, talk to Teddy again.
Ping and Pong's rock show.
Noodle blows up the POW camp.
Escaping
The hectic submarine chase.
Sheldon is born.
It's paramount to keep your workers assigned to fixing the sub, as the bars will decrease if no worker is assigned to them. Players should keep an eye on the characters, as their spawning rate is quite fast. As soon as you see that they have regained the ability to work again (a full blue bar, rather than orange) you can assign them to another role. If their bars are not as blue, you may still assign them roles. This will simply cause them to stop working sooner. Continue to play Battlefish while doing this (you return to the board by looking through the periscope in the left room). Teddy will alert you when it is your turn. If you are too busy assigning roles or simply not on the game screen, you will randomly fire at a spot on the board if someone is assigned to torpedoes.
Over time, the submarine will gradually lose health. Getting hit will decrease your sub's maximum health. You can regain health by repairing the ship where needed, but once your maximum health decreases, there's no way to get it back up unless you die or log out. The health bar is reset for every seal ship you destroy. This means finding the opposing ships should be the first objective.
Hint: Clicking on the pop-up message that appears when you hit, miss, or sink a battlefish will make it disappear faster, causing this part to move much quicker than just waiting each time for the message to disappear. (Not clicking will make you wait about 4 seconds till you or the seals make a move. Clicking on the pop-up will cut down the 4-second waiting time)
If you die you will appear in front of the Grim Reaper with Ping and Pong. After a short dialogue, leave through the portal and you will appear near the boat to travel to the iceberg. Wake the sleeping seal to return to the sub, where you start over.
It has been confirmed that upon logout the ship locations will change. Some people have reported enemy ships staying in same location after death so check those areas first (better safe than sorry). Remember, you must get all ships in one go. You may retry shortly after by waking the sleeping seal.
Note: If you are having problems finding the seals try F6-F9, D4-G4, and H1-J1. These seem to work for many people.
When you destroy all of the enemy ships, you are taken back to the Ardougne Zoo, and after a short cutscene, the quest is completed.
Extension to Penguin Hide and Seek, which consists of a 3-point Penguin Spy that requires the seeker to be wearing a Ring of Visibility to be able to spot it. The penguin randomly teleports every few minutes. It can also travel across the water and over mountains to any part of the Gielinor surface.
This article on a quest has an associated dialogue page. Click here for a transcript of possible conversations encountered throughout the quest.
Trivia
When Ping and Pong are performing for the seals, the seals' "two clap then stamp" dance is a reference to the song We Will Rock You which has a similar beat. In actual fact, the beat to We Will Rock You is often "Stomp Stomp Clap" but is often used in conjunction with "two clap then stomp".
Larry's line "You're a traitor to the motherland!" can be seen as a reference to the Soviet Union.
The Battlefish win screen says: "You are the Champion." This is a reference to the Queen song We Are the Champions. Thus the picture of Ping, in one of Freddie Mercury's famous poses.
Larry's line "I am the eggman. Where is the walrus?" is a reference to I Am the Walrus, a 1967 song by The Beatles.
The "POW" (Prisoners of Walrus) is a reference to "Prisoners of War."
"Your mission - should you choose to accept it" is a reference to the 1960s TV show and film series, Mission: Impossible.
Larry sings "Under the Sea", a song from the 1989 Disney animated movie The Little Mermaid. This could also be another Beatles reference; specifically the song "Octopus's Garden", which starts, "I'd like to be/ Under the Sea..."
When Teddy says "This will all end in tears. Most likely, my tears." this is most likely a reference to the 1979 book written by Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy or the 2005 movie by the same name, where a depressed and paranoid robot by the name of Marvin says "This will all end in tears, I just know it."
Pong's line "you build it and they will come." is a reference to the movie Field of Dreams. However, as this was said in the rock version, it is likely a reference to the movie Wayne's World 2, which also quoted the movie.
When the player tells Juna a story for the Tears of Guthix, the response for this quest is "and then the egg hatched and a baby penguin came out. You should have seen the look on Larry's face." Juna then replies with "Larry's path was never an easy one, but this will complicate matters".
The quest's title might be a reference to the 1959 film Some Like It Hot of Marilyn Monroe.
Battlefish is based off the real-life strategy game Battleship.
The personality of Ping and Pong is a direct reference to the 1989 film "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure." This goes as far as their "tubular" speech and knack for playing music. There is also a reference to the sequel of the movie should you fail during the submarine escape, where Death (the Grim Reaper) kept the boys hostage to play games rather than return them to their original selves.
The seal navy is a reference to the United States Navy SEAL program.
The rock and pop costumes that Ping and Pong wear are homage to the attire of Gene Simmons and Freddie Mercury, respectively.
When the player asks Pong about his escape plan, Pong asks, "Where would we get rubber pants our size?" This is a reference to a gag in the cartoon "Pinky and the Brain".
The escape plan involving a replica of the iceberg and moving the seals while they sleep is a reference to Star Trek Insurrection, as this is what the Son'a hoped to do to the Ba'ku to get them off the planet.
The escape plan in which they combine their powers to form a Megapenguin is a reference to the Power Rangers and their Megazord.
Ping's line "To the canoe-mobile !" is a reference to the Batman franchise.
Members only
Experienced
Quests:
Rock costume
Pop costume
Early bird tome
Sea Slug
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