Rum Deal is one of Bard Roberts and the Stanky Penguins's songs, being named after the quest Rum Deal. As with all of Robert's songs, it is composed of 4 limericks (AABBA rhyme system) that provide a synopsis of the quest along with a cutscene involving:
- Bard Roberts, Stanky Morgan and Flippers McGraw
- The players
- Pirate Pete
- Greater demon
- Captain Donnie
- Zombie protestor
- Captain Braindeath
The song also features a cauldron, row boat, 'rum', a squid, and a slugling.
Pirate Pete told ye a tall tale,
Of a demon on which to wail,
But 'twas all a test,
A made-up request,
Afore the truth he could unveil!
To the Braindeath Isle ye travelled,
By the business-end o' paddle,
Zombie pirate drunks,
With 'rum'-ridden funks,
And yer sanity unravelled!
Braindeath revealed his conundrum,
As a task 'twas nothing humdrum,
Make a vile brew,
Use it to subdue,
Zombies picketing the 'rum'-run!
So, ye brewed it like ye oughta,
Using squids, slugs, stagnant water,
Got the zombies drunk,
Their blockade debunked,
Nay more brewers to the slaughter!