H.A.M. (an acronym for Humans Against Monsters) is an organisation (sometimes referred to as a cult or group) dedicated to wiping most non-human races off the face of Gielinor, the world of RuneScape. Exceptions include some human-like races, such as gnomes, elves and creatures devoted to Saradomin. Most of H.A.M.'s members are refugees from settlements destroyed by less civilised races, such as goblins.
Although H.A.M. is a Saradominist organisation, the ethics of members acting in the interests of the group have been the subject of much controversy. During their involvement in some quests (see below), they have been known to kidnap, steal, torture, and murder to accomplish their goal. This has led some people to accuse the organisation of being nothing more than a xenophobic cult.
H.A.M. believes that the governments of Gielinor, particularly that of Misthalin, should push further offensives against these creatures, and that large-scale slaughters are necessary. As a result, they have butted heads with many, including Duke Horacio of Lumbridge.
The organisation's underground headquarters are on the path between Draynor Village and Lumbridge. H.A.M. has yet to organise large-scale attacks. However, their power has begun to grow recently, with their numbers increasing as their mission continues to inspire new members.
Plans devised by H.A.M. Edit
Elimination of the DorgeshuunEdit
The Dorgeshuun are the first priority of the H.A.M. to eliminate. They have tried four unsuccessful plans against them.
The Lost TribeEdit
H.A.M.'s first plot began when one of their most prominent members, Sigmund, rose to the position of Advisor to the Duke of Lumbridge. Although the Duke was aware of his position in H.A.M., he tolerated it, as they had yet to take any serious actions against the other races of Gielinor.
Some time later, an earthquake exposed a massive tunnel system beneath Lumbridge and Lumbridge Swamp; the Lumbridge Swamp Dungeon. This eventually led to the accidental digging into Lumbridge Castle Cellar by Dorgeshuun miners. The Dorgeshuun, a peaceful and intelligent race of cave goblins, had existed beneath the surface for thousands of years, banished by The Big High War God (Later identified as Bandos) during the cataclysmic God Wars. Knowing almost nothing of the surface world and still afraid of the conflicts that could arise, they quickly sealed the hole and returned to their mines.
When it was discovered that the cellar had been broken into, there were conflicting reports as to its cause. When it was found that the cellar had been broken into by goblins, Sigmund urged the Duke to launch an offensive. However, the player convinces the Duke to discover the goblins' intentions first.
When the Dorgeshuun claimed to be peaceful, Sigmund stole a set of silverware from the basement, accusing the Dorgeshuun. Despite its minor importance, this theft nearly prompts a war between the nations; and the Dorgeshuun, having known nothing of war for thousands of years, would be forced to extinction. However, an adventurer finds out that it was Sigmund that framed them, and his position of advisor is removed. A peace treaty was signed between Misthalin and the Dorgeshuun, although their city of Dorgesh-Kaan remained sealed at the order of the Dorgeshuun Council.
Death to the DorgeshuunEdit
The Dorgeshuun, seeking to gather information on H.A.M. and the surface world as a whole, sent one of their people to the outside world. This diplomat, a cave goblin girl named Zanik, explored the surface world with the adventurer that discovered Sigmund's plot.
The two eventually disguised themselves as H.A.M. members and infiltrated their headquarters. Zanik discovered a hidden trapdoor and, once inside, slew several members. At the end of a corridor, they found a hidden chamber where a number of H.A.M. members, including their leader, Johanhus Ulsbrecht, were discussing their newest plan to eliminate the Dorgeshuun.
Using a drilling machine imported from the dwarven capital of Keldagrim (most likely sold by The Red Axe), H.A.M. planned to dig through the bottom of the River Lum. By strategically placing the machine inside the cellar of an unaware farmer, Seth Groats, they could flood the Dorgeshuun Mines and then their capital Dorgesh-Kaan, killing the hundreds of civilians inside.
The adventurer and Zanik were discovered. The adventurer was thrown in the H.A.M. prison, but escaped, only to find that Zanik was missing. Outside the H.A.M. headquarters, Zanik's body is found, having clearly been tortured and killed by H.A.M.
Zanik is brought back from the dead by the power of Guthix, her destiny to lead the goblins into a new age of prosperity unfulfilled. Along with the adventurer, Zanik confronts Sigmund as the drilling machine begins its mission. Only very narrowly is the drill destroyed, saving Dorgesh-Kaan and prompting the opening of the city.
Another Slice of H.A.M.Edit
Following the opening of Dorgesh-Kaan to the outside world, the Dorgeshuun began to foster new ties with many of Gielinor's peoples. Amongst these were the dwarves of Keldagrim, who, under the dwarven politician Ambassador Alvijar, began construction on the Dorgesh-Kaan - Keldagrim Train System. This project would connect the two underground capitals, promoting trade and goodwill between the two races.
The dig was halted when a number of relics from the cave goblin's early history were found. Amongst the artefacts was an ancient mace, used by the goblins during the God Wars. Seeking to discover the meaning of the weapon, the adventurer and Zanik set out for the Goblin Village in North-west Asgarnia.
Once there, Zanik attempted to convince the goblins to abandon their violent ways. During her speech, a number of arrows and spells were fired randomly into the crowd, killing several goblins. Realising that they are under attack by H.A.M., the goblins took cover. Distracted, they did not realise that Zanik is taken at the point of a sword by Sigmund.
Zanik was tied to the Dorgesh-Kaan - Keldagrim railway by Sigmund, who believed her death would result in war between Keldagrim and Dorgesh-Kaan, wiping out both cities. However, Zanik was saved at the last moment, and H.A.M. was defeated yet again. However, they are still plotting against the Dorgeshuun.
The Chosen CommanderEditA H.A.M. member infiltrates Dorgesh-kaan and managed to poison some of the food, causing the goblin children to become ill. After finding out who it was by an adventurer, he is taken to the high authority of Dorgesh-kaan and is just about to be taken to the surface, when Zanik kills him.
Later on in their frustration, Sigmund forms a splinter group and decides to kidnap a goblin, Grubfoot, and take him to their new base located in the Flour Mill north of Ardougne in an attempt to interrogate him in the effort to find out what the cave goblins are up to. He is then rescued by the adventurer, and Zanik, who had been possessed by Bandos at the time, appears with an army of goblins to kill the H.A.M. members. She confronts and kills Sigmund, the new leader of this base. Zanik (under Bandos' control) then turns her crossbow on the adventurer.The player eventually restores Zanik back to her normal self after talking to her, and they both teleport away.
A cutscene is shown at the end of the quest including the previous quests where H.A.M. were involved. If the Duke of Lumbridge is talked to after the quest, it is shown that they had found Sigmund's hand. H.A.M. has not been involved in any quests since The Chosen Commander.
During the Another Slice of H.A.M. quest, they plan to make the Dorgeshuun angry by framing the dwarves for the murder of Zanik, even though the resulting war could wipe out both the goblins and the dwarves. Sigmund seems to think that the dwarves are a monstrous race who should be eliminated as well, although Johanhus does not seem to feel the same way. It is unknown whether this is the official H.A.M. policy on dwarves, as dwarves are a relatively peaceful and civilised race, or just the extremist views of Sigmund. If it is official H.A.M. policy, they may want to wipe out other humanoid races such as gnomes.
In Betrayal at Falador, it is revealed that some H.A.M. members don't tolerate dwarves. For instance, when Jerrod was attacking people, members of H.A.M. suspected the dwarf, Doric. They burned his house and stole his goats and jewellery. After the mod, H.A.M. Speaker told him that Asgarnia is a human nation.
A successful attack was perpetrated by a man inspired by the mission of H.A.M. The man, Sithik Ints, used one of his friends, named Brentle Vahn, to carry a backpack into the ogres' dancing site of Jiggig and down into the burial grounds.
What Brentle did not know is that the backpack was full of explosives and a necromancy seal that would wake the undead. An explosion ripped through the ground killing Brentle instantly; two ogres were seriously injured, and all the corpses of dead ogres came alive. They are also known as Zogres and Skogres.
The dance site was lost, and Ints was considered a hero amongst the H.A.M. However, he was caught and punished by being turned into an ogre in Zogre Flesh Eaters.
H.A.M. after The Chosen CommanderEdit
It appears that the attack on Sigmund's forces ripped out a large part of the H.A.M. backbone. They have said that they "have given up direct action because of the goblin attack on Sigmund's base but they will continue occupying caves and pestering the government". It is incredibly unlikely that any government will take them seriously. Johanhus says they will not attack cave goblins again, stating "they are no worse than gnomes or dwarves".
- Johanhus Ulsbrecht (Leader)
- Sigmund (Leader of Fringe Group/Deceased)
- Sithik Ints (In custody)
- Brentle Vahn (Deceased)
- H.A.M. Deacon
- Thwait (In Betrayal at Falador) (Deceased)
- H.A.M. Speaker (In Betrayal at Falador) (Deceased)
- Milton the Miller (Possibly resigned after the attack on Sigmund's base)
- Junior Cadet Bertol
The following quests involve H.A.M. or at least one of its members:
- The Lost Tribe
- Death to the Dorgeshuun
- Another Slice of H.A.M.
- The Chosen Commander
- Zogre Flesh Eaters
- One Small Favour
- Uri, the man encountered during emote clues in treasure trails, wears H.A.M. robes. This could possibly mean that he is a member of the organisation (evidence could be his shifty personality and secret code phrases), although this has not been proven.
- The trap door leading to the H.A.M. base used to have an actual ham on the top. This was a joke from the name H.A.M.
- The H.A.M can resemble the KKK, as they wear identical clothes. They also have "racist" thoughts towards monster.
- When a player speaks to an NPC while wearing the H.A.M. hood, their eyes turn green.
- The H.A.M. hideout was defended by the Reavers in a Triumvirate PvP event.
- When a player pickpockets a H.A.M member and ends up in the prison in the lair, the text box will still say 'you're beaten unconscious and bundled out of the H.A.M camp.'
- Some H.A.M. members have a short sleeved version of the H.A.M. robes, but it is un-obtainable by players.
- Even though H.A.M. members don't wear H.a.m. gloves and H.a.m. boots, you can get those from pickpocketing them.