|Release date||11 March 2008 (Update)|
|Location(s)||Stronghold of Player Safety - Prison|
|Examine||He thumps people who cheat.|
Blokey Simms is the guard of the Stronghold of Player Safety. He tells players about the Report Abuse button in the Stronghold of Player Safety. He is married with a wife and has two children, one of which named James, who has his intent of joining the Phoenix Gang. He is most noted in Postbag from the Hedge 35, and he says that the Stronghold of Player Safety is better than the (so-called) Stronghold of Security. 
- "Blokey" may come from the word "Bloke", a British word for a man.