All mis-fortunes started with "The great Zoltan speaks!" This was followed by the message and finally a small disclaimer: "All fortunes are final and cannot be returned. Terms and conditions apply."
Collecting all tickets did not unlock any titles.
|1||When you're on top of the world it's all downhill from there.||33|
|2||What if you've already peaked?||27|
|3||Some people are always the worst dressed in the room.||25|
|4||To avoid criticism do nothing.||25|
|5||All things have an end.||25|
|6||Abandon all hope.||24|
|7||Keep your expectations reasonable.||24|
|8||Today is the youngest you will ever be.||23|
|9||The first step towards failure is trying.||25|
|10||Just because you're unique doesn't mean you are useful.||29|
|11||What doesn't break you today will try again tomorrow.||24|
|12||Change isn't always good.||24|
|13||If at first you don't succeed, give up.||24|
|14||There is always a 'U' in failure.||21|
|15||Life is like a circle; pointless.||25|
|16||You look like a Dungeoneering floor, because everyone will abandon you.||25|
|17||Nothing interesting happens.||31|
- Misfortune 3 was changed from "You will die alone and poorly dressed." to "Some people are always the worst dressed in the room." within a day of release.